Affleck Dumps J.Lo; Will Wed J.Lo’s Wax Statue Instead

According to the satirical site the Borowitz Report, Ben Affleck has dumped fiance Jennifer Lopez and is instead set to marry a wax statue of the curvaceous singer-actress recently unveiled at Madame Tussaud’s wax museum in New York’s Times Square. A friend of the actor said, “As happy as Ben was with Jennifer, I think he has more in common with an inert object.”