‘Al Gore’ Recalls Meeting With Lindsay Lohan

During last night’s ‘Weekend Update’ on ‘Saturday Night Live’, Amy Poehler introduced “Al Gore”, played by Darrell Hammond: Lindsay Lohan’s latest troubles have been displayed all over the internet in the form of a rambling, sometimes incoherent blackberry message, in which she claims she had a conversation with Vice President Al Gore. Here to comment on their ‘conversation’, Al Gore.”

“Gore” said, “Thank you. Thank you Seth, thank you Amy. Thank you very much for that wonderful endorsement. I want to thank you for it. Having run for elected office and having achieved a kind of celebrity status myself, I know how public perception can be shaped by words taken out of context. It’s true that Ms. Lohan did indeed come up to me at a recent event, but I have a different memory of that conversation which I would like to share now. It begins by her coming up to me. She says, ‘Hey there Vice President Cheney.’ It’s a natural mistake. I can understand, because I was vice president for eight years. So I say, ‘Hello, young lady.’ And she says, ‘I’m Lindsay Lohan’. And I say, ‘Well, I’m glad to meet you, Lindsay Lohan.’ She says, ‘Mr. Ambassador, I would like to talk to you about your movie, “Happy Feet”.’ I said, ‘I wasn’t in that movie. That’s an animated movie about penguins.’ She says, ‘Oh, I think you’re cute. Blart!’ That’s where she barfed on me. So I say, ‘Uh-oh, are you okay?’ And she angry shouts, ‘Don’t you judge me!’ Then I explain, ‘I wasn’t judging you.’ And then she takes her finger and jams it into my chest. And then I say, ‘Hey, cut it out!’ She says, ‘Make me’. I say, ‘I won the popular vote in 2000’, because that’s what I say when I get nervous. And she said, ‘Blart’. There is no way she says that you won the popular vote because I hate you. Didn’t know what to say after that. I made a run for it because she scares me, Amy. I don’t even know who this Lindsay Lohan is, but I think all of us should be scared of her. All of us.”