Baby, One More Comeback

Contributed anonymously:

4-5 years ago, a product was designed in a boardroom. This product was a young, beautiful, squeaky clean teenager, who would sing and prance around like a twelve year old, targeting a specific group of young girls. She would be carefully scripted and choreographed, and would lie through her sugary sweet smile to help build the perfect image. She would have no opinion – only what the record execs decided for her. Her face would be plastered over every form of advertising in the world, forcing her on everyone, a form of brainwashing. The songs were written, the tracks laid down, and then the search began for a mediocre singer and dancer. Ladies and gentleman, this product was .

She burst onto the music scene with an album full of carefully chosen songs, all hollow with a catchy chorus, capturing the target audience of 13 year old girls. Britney pranced around in her skimpy outfits and lip-synced her way to the top, purring about saving herself for marriage. Once she had an army of young fans and had been milked for every dollar, she was rushed back into the studio, to record a carbon copy of her first successful album. If it’s not broken, don’t fix it, right?

Out came the second album with surprisingly even babier songs, as Britney tried to repeat her success all over again. Sadly, her legion of 12 year old girls had begun to see through the charade, and sales were no where near the first album. Realizing that they couldn’t portray Britney as the teasing 16 year old any longer, the product was thrown back in the boardroom for some editing.

In a carefully scripted career move, Britney ‘grew up’ in front of the entire world. With pathetically obvious songs like ‘Overprotected’ and ‘Not a Girl’, Britney crooned her way into adulthood, trying desperately to hang onto her once blossoming career. Once again, Britney could not repeat her success.

The record company then decided it was time for Britney to have a ‘hiatus’, and buy them time to plot her next career move. Britney was then thrown into the publicity rounds, making controversy after controversy, trying to stay in the papers.

Now, as the product sails downhill, it tries to make a comeback. Kissing Madonna at the MTV awards, the biggest publicity stunt in the world, paved the way for Britney’s desperate next single, featuring the aging wreck. ‘Me Against The Music’, the new ‘song’ with Madonna, proves frightfully unoriginal with two women who are, clearly, not singers. In a world where music artistry seems meaningless, Britney Spears prepares to unleash her fourth album. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, Britney Spears, the biggest puppet in the world.

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11 thoughts on “Baby, One More Comeback

  1. amusicfanofsoul says:

    ow…that was harsh. but I’m kinda agreeing. I told you all…the reviews that are coming are gonna be harsh! if you are a real fan…then you should see past it.

  2. weebongo says:

    Another person upset about the huge hit ‘Me Against the Music’ is turning out to be. People like you thought Brit would be done by now but it looks like Brit will have her biggest hit single since Oops and they can’t stand it. They can’t take that Brit is still such a huge success and getting all the attention. Brit will be around for a long time just like her idol Madonna. Get ready for 20+ years of Britney. Ha . .Or maybe 40+ years like in CHER’s case.

  3. outrageous4u says:

    Why is everybody writing essays on Britney Spears-seems like everyone is interested in what she is doing because everyday I read another too long essay Britney has admitted that she was controlled earlier by her label but not anymore people grow up and take charge of their lives-just like she it and just like people ragged on Madonna back in the 80’s, saying she would never last, they are doing it to Britney-sorry, she has the talent and appeal to be around as long as she chooses lol you guys are funny!

  4. cwaaft says:

    Anonymous, if lying to yourself lets you sleep at night, you just live in your little dreamworld. People who dislike Britney Spears have predicted her demise for 4 years. She is just as much a puppet as every other act out there. If it was so easy to “create” Britney Spears, why are there not anymore of them? Why is Christina, Mandy and Jessica not as successful? Her last album sold 1.9 million more copies then Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera’s current CD’s. She’s sold 50 million records worldwide. She’s not going anywhere. Jealousy is an ugly thing, just ask Xtina. Look what it’s done to her. She’s nothing but a bitter wannabe who’s portrayed herself as a victim to get the sympathy vote.

  5. MistySl says:

    While all Britney sings about is dancing, Christina touches on abuse, Low-self-esteem, Love, Hate, Public Opinion, racism. Christina has a voice, and writes deep lyrics, while I do believe she needs a bath, like many of you. Britney has yet to touch Christina Artistically. And Christina has 3 Grammys. Britney will go down as the Paula Abdul of our time. Nothing to say, with some slick dance moves.

  6. grprincess says:

    Anonymous didn’t you post an Anti-Britney essay yesterday? You are obsessed give it up already. I think you are the biggest puppet you idiot.

  7. xyrus says:

    Every artist is a puppet. these products were carefully crafted to entertain people and make them happy. people always choose their favorite design, and always, if ones a big hit , people who doesn’t like it throw a piece a tomato, trying to dirt on the puppet’s costume.

  8. Britney_luvr says:

    God, this person has far far too much time on his/her hands. That must have taken about half an hour to write!! Britney haters, you hate her, we know, now just get over it already!

  9. theemperorisnaked says:

    This is make or break for Britney. I believe she’s underestimating the record buying public who can look through the crap. She may think she has matured but maturity especially in music is a lot more than appearing naked on magazine covers and french kissing a singer who’s the same age as her mother.

  10. jrtxtinafan44 says:

    Good job lol. very true. once again.. the only reason she is “famous” is because of the way she dresses.. if she dressed like.. say Mandy Moore… who is awesome.. Britney wouldn’t be famous today.. now.. since I know someone is gonna bring up Christina… she could dress like Mandy Moore and she would still make it big.. she can actually sing

  11. ballersfantasy says:

    This post should have been named BABY, ONE MORE BORING ASS ESSAY Get prepared to write more essays though, because Brit will be around for a while. You haters need to do everyone a favor and get over it.

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