Britney Spears has posted the following message to fans on her official web site, BritneySpears.com:
I just wanted to reach out to all of you and explain some of the things
that I have been faced with recently.
It’s so funny how many stories are put out there about people. It’s
like we all want our side of the story out there as well, but at the end
of the day only a few people care to hear what is really going on since
the bad is always so much more interesting than the truth. I don’t know
why, but this is so weird to me. I used to be angry at the tabloids for
printing horrible things about me, but now I try to just be numb to what
I see. I saw Tyra Banks once get really upset and cry on her show because
they made her look fat. We all want a certain image of ourselves out there,
and at some point we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn’t
Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly
hit rock bottom. Till this day I don’t think that it was alcohol or depression.
I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long
time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce.
I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn’t
know who to go to. I realized how much energy and love I had put into my
past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what
to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost.
This letter is to not place blame on anyone, although I do see the world
with a completely different set of eyes now. Being in that vulnerable state
and taken to dinners and parties with friends and finding out later you
paid for everything was a huge learning lesson for me. I think the whole
problem was letting too many people into my life. You never know another
persons intentions or what another person wants. I feel I was too open
and looking for answers when I had it all to begin with. I have had to
cut so many people out of my life. It is so sad, because if anyone is a
family person…it is me. When I was little I remember every
night watching movies with my family and feeling so at peace. Dancing
and singing all the time just like a little girl should. Now recently
I find with my children that I want them to have that feeling all of the
time. I am having to face a lot of things right now since I have children
of my own. A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again.
It is like we are never good enough.
I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not and
I hate what is going on right now so much. Maybe this is the reason for
this letter…to maybe allow people to look at me differently. It is like
when you are a real woman and say what you feel and how you think things
are supposed to be, that people just say you are a “bitch.”
I feel like some of the people in my life made more of some issues than
was necessary. I also feel like they knew I was beginning to use my brain
for a change and cut some ties, so they wanted to be in more control of
my life than me. I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out
after a huge divorce. I think it was a bigger issue because I had not gone
out in such a long time. I am 25 and I do still have a lot to learn, and
I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make
will probably be on CNN or Good Morning America. I am only human people
and I love you for still loving me.
I am sitting here at home and it is 6:25 and both of my sons are asleep.
I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Everyday is so surreal. Life
in general is so surreal and crazy.
I just hope this letter made some of you think a little bit more of
me and where I am coming from. I just want the same things in life that
you want…and that is to be happy. It is just so weird because everyone
has their own perception of me and how they think I really am. It is so
weird how stories are told. There is your side, my side, and the truth.
Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really understand
or figure out life completely. That’s God’s job. I can’t wait to meet him…or
Quote of the month…
It is ok to disagree with people regarding certain issues. You?re not
being true to yourself if you succumb to others opinions because you feel