Cash Flow Problems For Michael Jackson

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Friday night, “Well, still no verdict in the trial. Did you hear about this? They say because of cash flow problems at the Neverland Ranch, feeding time has been reduced from twice a a day to once a day. … Supposedly, Michael Jackson is $270 million in debt. Isn’t that unbelievable? Isn’t that amazing? In fact, the last time Michael Jackson was in the black, he was black. … To give you an idea of how bad things are out there — you know the bed that Michael was sleeping in with those boys? It’s now coin-operated.”

Odds Of Jackson Sex Abuse Conviction Near Even

June 10, 2005 – While jurors continue deliberating, the odds of Michael Jackson being convicted of child molestation are almost even, according to But gamblers see it as more likely than not that the pop star will be convicted of the separate charge of administering alcohol to a minor.

Jackson Suicide Trojan Hoax

June 10, 2005 – A spam email that claims Michael Jackson has made a suicide attempt masks a “Trojan horse” virus to infect computers. The email, written in poor English, says Jackson made a “suicidal aattempt” (sic) at his Neverland Ranch home and invites the recipient to click on a link to see a supposed suicide note. The full story at has since been removed.

Michael Jackson Prosecutors Celebrate Early

June 10, 2005 – Roger Friedman of reports that on Wednesday night, the prosecution in the Michael Jackson child molestation case, including DA Tom Sneddon, Ron Zonen, Gordon Auchincloss, their wives and families, all celebrated a case they apparently feel they’ve won at the Hitching Post restaurant in Casmalia. “This group was happy,” an observer remarked. “There was definitely a celebratory mood.” Read more.

Leno’s Thursday Jacko-logue

June 10, 2005 – Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Thursday night, “Scientists have observed dolphins foraging for food on the rocky sea floor off the Australian coast. It seems they figured out how to use sponges to protect their noses from damage. Isn’t that amazing? A dolphin is smart enough to protect his nose from being cut to pieces, yet Michael Jackson isn’t. … As you know, the Jackson jury only deliberated for half a day today, and left without reaching a decision. The jurors didn’t want to leave early, but a lot of them had to do publicity shots for their book deals, you know. … In fact, today, up there in Santa Maria, Michael Jackson went to a restaurant for lunch, ordered the tater tots. I think he told the waiter, ‘Hold the taters, just bring the tots.’ … And former child star, ‘Home Alone’ star, Macaulay Culkin, pleaded guilty yesterday to drug charges. Pleaded guilty. Yeah, kind of sad. Actually, ironic. If he went to prison, he could wind up in bed with Michael again. Oh, my God. … And as you know, Jesse Jackson has been Michael’s spiritual advisor throughout the trial. You know, Michael’s had a lot of these spiritual advisors. And none of them have really worked out. You know what they need up there at the Neverland Ranch? They need nuns with rulers patrolling the hallway. You know? (In Irish accent) ‘Keep your hands off the little boy, now! Get your hands off the little boy, now!’ … Well, they say Michael’s broke. That’s the latest thing. In fact, he owes Tito a hundred bucks. That’s how bad it is.”

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