I love Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Mandy Moore, Avril Lavigne and many other “musical legends” that came with the teen pop boom, because they are all SO original, and all of them will adorn the pages of playboy and not have to do it free in a super bowl halftime show. See, I am in my twenties and I have heard a few more singles and albums than the address middle school kids, and as an old fart, this is what I have to say about the Great Christina Aguilera.
While the world is being bombarded by Aguilera fans who are mostly greasy teens, dancing queens and deaf people who kept on insisting what a great artist (it’s hard to type when I am laughing this hard) she is, what about the rest of the non-deaf world?? “Twilight zone music commences to play.”
Britney can’t sing, it’s a universal truth, even the tribes in Amazon forest know it. But Britney is extremely hot, quite dancey and most importantly NOT DEAF. “Baby one more time” was good, and so was the video. So, Christina had to do “Genie in a bottle”, The Hampthons version with all her sorority and frat boys. “I’m a slave 4 U” – not bad at all for soft porn, so Christina had to do the gang bang version called “Dirrty”. “Fighter” is “Stronger” on Prozac. Britney is cutesy but Christina is all about changing the world. (Wow, and the world says “no thank you)
Britney came out as the goody two shoes (yeah right!) and later stripped on MTV (yes!!!), and Christina coincidentally announced that she’s a hoe too. MY God, where did she get that idea? Britney came out as a pop tart, later moving to a hybrid of hip hop, techno and trance. Christina came out as a copy cat pop, and later turned blah blah blah… Christina is chronically obsessed with Britney, why? Because Britney is not deaf, and so, she wouldn’t sing (or lip-synch) the same note for hours.
Let’s talk music! It’s all about honesty, self-expression, blah blah but never about sales. NO. Christina is not out to make money, PLEASE!!! That’s the reason why she writes all the stuff by herself (did you people check out how many co-writers this woman have for that crappy “Stripped” album?” So, Christina loves money too, just as much as shallow Britney Spears. But what about her music? Will you believe a drug addict when he sings an “anti-drug” song? No, of course not. In the same vein, Christina “I hate all my female competitors” Aguilera singing “beautiful” hahahaahah… I almost puked out the taco bell that I had two months ago, and don’t even go to “can’t hold us down” My goodness, Christina is such a legend, he he… maybe Eminem was right all along.
Conclusion is this: Britney is cute crap, but unpretentious and quite honest crap. I mean that “Everytime” and “I am not a girl not yet a woman” are seriously believable. I do, and I am an old fart. BUT CHRISTINA is nasty crap. One minute she’s whiter than Barry Manilow and the next, when the market turns R&B, she became Janet Jackson. She wants to save the world, tell everyone they are all beautiful , that she’s this feminist, but her action screams “I am totally envious and jealous of you, Britney Spears” It’s like the ugly chick who hated the popular girl in high school for no apparent reason but jealousy.
If you want real music, check out the Dave Mathews, the Beatles, Beastie Boys, Lenny Kravitz and Coldplay. Not any of these pop tarts. So, all you greasy teens, dancing queens and deaf Christina Aguilera fans can send your curses and valued opinion to this address, www.iamsorryiboughtstripped.com.