Conan Introduces His New Boy Band
Conan O’Brien introduced his new boyband Friday night and the clip featured a guest appearance by *NSYNC’s Lance Bass and a shot taken at Backstreet Boy A.J. McLean’s rehab stint. For a transcript to the skit profiling his ‘Dudez A Plenti’, read on.
Conan: Thanks, max, gentlemen. I — we have so much show tonight,
but I do have to mention something upopop. Awhile ago, I decided to make
a little bit of a career change. And some of you may be aware of this.
I decided to take my unique mix of musical ingenuity, which I obviously
have –
[ Cheers and applause ] Thanks for going along with that. — Show businesses
clout and natural teaching skills and combine them all and channel them
into a very special project which we tried out here on the show. That project
was the formation of my own brand-new boy band.
[ Cheers andpppplause ] Yeah. A very, very talented group of young men
who I named dudez a plenti.
[ Laughter ] Dudez, with a “z,” a plenti. All right? And, well, anyway,
here’s a glimpse of what happened back then. I think this was about a year
ago. Here’s what happened.
Baby
I wish you were my baby
I’ll make you make a baby
>> Conan: You know, and there was –
[ Cheers and applause ] I worked with these guys. Just a quick glimpse
of what we did.
[ Applause ] And, frankly, we were poised to conquer the music world,
’cause boy bands are huge. I was gonna make a lot of cash. Then, to be
perfectly honest, I forgot about them completely.
[ Laughter ] I am — I’m just a busy guy, you know?
[ Laughter ] I gotta talk to david hasselhoff and act like an ass. And
I got busy. And the whole thing slipped my mind for, like, a year, okay?
[ Light laughter ] Then, recently, I remembered, “oh, my god, I formed
a boy band, dudez a plenti.”
[ Laughter ] And I decided I’m gonna get ‘em back together, okay? But
this time, I’m gonna go all the way. I’m gonna shooa music video, a big-time
music video with dudez a plenti and get it on rapid rotation. So we did
that. And here’s — here’s a behind-the-scenes look of us making the video
and then the video. It’s all pretty amazing.
>> Conan: All right, let’s listen up!
[ Light laughter ] How’s it going, guys?
>> Fine.
>> Good.
>> Good to see you.
>> Conan: Yeah, how is dudez a plenti doing?
>> You know –
[ Band members mumbling ]
>> Conan: Doing okay?
>> All right.
>> Conan: All right, quickly, I wanna apologize. I know I promised you
guys we were going to the top of the charts with that last song. Things
didn’t work out. I blame you. Bad performance.
[ Laughter ] Bad execution. What have you guys been up to? What have
you been working at?
>> Just — target.
>> Conan: You’ve been working at the target store?
>> Yeah.
[ Light laughter ]
>> Conan: What have you been doing?
>> I’ve been baby-sittin’.
>> Conan: Okay, you guys are papathetic. But I’m gonna give you a second
chance. Guys, we’re gonna make a video.
[ Band members reacting ]
>> Conan: Hey, hey! Enough of that. No high-fiving.
[ Light laughter ] I want you guys to do something different. Rub heads.
[ Laughter ] No, it’s actually rubbing. I want heads rubbing. Ththat’s
what you guys do. Other people knock fists. Other people slap fives. You
guys rub your heads.
[ Laughter ] All right? Have you been drinking? You smell like you’ve
been drinking.
>> No, I’m cool.
>> Conan: Okay. You should start drinking right away.
[ Laughter ]
>> Yeah?
>> Conan: Yeah, I want you to be the alcoholic in the gupup. All right?
– Real problem. You’re gonna be the alcoholic. Six months from now, you’re
gonna drop out of the group. You guys are gonna have his back. You’re gonna
wait for him. And then he’s gonna come back into the group, all right?
He’s gonna say he’s better. A month later, he’s gonna be found dead on
the floor of a bathroom.
[ Laughter ] You okay with that? Just do it. It’s gonna be fun.
[ Laughter ] So I got us new song. I got us a really good song.
Girl, you must be from another time one where awesomeness was not confined
’cause awesomeness is awesome, baby
[ Laughter ]
But not like you
you’re so awesome I say yeah
[ Laughter ]
How’d you get so awesome, baby?
From drinking lots of awesome juice?
The awesome juice has worked, hooray
awesomeness ooh-ooh
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
>> Basically, it’s the word “awesome.” I counted like 23 times, and
–
>> Conan: 28.
[ Laughter ] 28 awesomes.
>> Yeah, I think it’s a lot.
>> Conan: “Awesome” is, like, the word kids use today. I actually went
to a mall yesterday. And huhung around for about two hours, until I got
asked to leave.
[ Laughter ] And I heard the word “awesome” so many times. Like, kids
– this is what kids say. They’re also swearing a lot, but –
[ Light laughter ] You know, we can’t do that. That’s not gonna get
play. I heard a lot of — like, I heard [ Bleep ] A lot.
[ Laughter ]
[ Bleep ] This, [ Bleep ] That.
[ Laughter ] But I swear to god, the second word I heard the most –
third word. I heard, “you [ Bleep ].”
[ Laughter ] I heard that a lot. And then the third word I heard a lot
was “awesome.” Kids say “awesome” all the time. Trust me — I know what
I’m doing. You are bad boys, all right? You’ve been sent to prison. You’ve
been sent to prison for mail fraud. You’re in here for tax evasion. You
killed a cat. You ate a tomato that didn’t belong to you. And you’re just
– you’re just a creep. And they put you in prison. All right? That’s your
motivation. The only studio that we could afford already had a few sets
in it, for some reason. So basically, we were forced to incorporate those
sets into the video. Here’s the idea — you’ve been in prison so long,
you don’t know what kind of music they’re listening to outside anymore.
You think they’re listening to old ragtime, so it’s like –
how’d you get so awesome, baby?
Hey, there little awesome girl
[ Laughter ]
>> Conan: Come on. Let’s go, dudez. All right. Here’s the deal. You
guys are at the bottom of the deep blue sea in this sequence. All right?
Danny, how are you?
>> Good. How you doing?
>> Conan: Good to see you. Why don’t you — this is our choreographer.
This is dudez a plenti.
>> Hey, guys, what’s up?
>> Conan: All right. Yeah, don’t bother getting to know them personally.
They can be replaced at any time.
[ Laughter ]
Swim swimmin’ and the fishy go by
swim swimmin’ then the fishy go by right? We’ll create the illusion
that — what? What was that?
>> I thought that was cool.
>> Conan: I’m not gay! Is that what you said?
[ Laughter ] I’m not. You’re wrong.
>> Yeah, seriously. You said something about “meese body.” And people
will think we’re talking about moose. Isn’t it, like, “my body” or “mine
body” or –
>> What is “meese body”?
>> Well, it just seemed like halfway through the video shoot, conan
lost interest in the band. He was more worried about the bagel table.
>> Conan: Do you have raisin and poppy seeds? Is that possible? ‘Cause
you have poppy seed and you have raisin, but I don’t know if you have raisin
and poppy seed.
>> We’ve got whatever’s here.
>> Conan: What do you mean, you’ve got whatever’s here? Come on. Don’t
you take any pride in your job? What’s that?
>> Conan’s got some questions.
>> Conan: Yeah, I’m having a bagel, okay? Why don’t you flap back to
the little deep blue sea and I’ll be in in a second, okay?
[ Laughter ] I mean, a cinnamon and poppy seed bagel — how hard is
it?
[ Laughter ] You’re very easy to work with. Can I say that?
>> Well, thank you very much.
>> Conan: No, but, I mean, this guy, anytime I ask for something, he
gives it to me. Every time I ask you for something, I come up against a
brick wall.
Don’t talk back to me!
[ Laughter ] You’re talking to “c”! When you’re talking to “c” –
[ In high-pitched voice ]
>> Sorry.
[ Laughter ]
>> Conan: Okay, well, the good news is we’ve got our space backdrop.
And we’ve got a spaceman and alien.
[ Light laughter ] Little bit of a glitch. These are the only space
costumes that we’ve got. But I think we can make do with these other costumes.
[ Laughter ] And these are great. These are, younonow, superman, a doctor
and richard nixon.
[ Laughter ] You’re going –
ha ha I want you to be going like –
ho ha I want you to be going like –
uh huh and I want you to be going like –
a shimma shimma shimma
[ Laughter ] And I want you to be going like –
nyah ha say ba ooh ooh
[ Band members singing parts ]
>> Conan: Hey!
A shimma shi-I-mma shim
a shimma shi-imma shim
a shimma shimma shim
a shimma shimma shim
a shim
shim
shebapbap
shebapbap
yep yep yep
yep yep yep
shimma shimma shim
shimma shimma shim
>> Conan: What you got there?
>> I forgot.
[ Laughter ]
>> Conan: This’ll be the space egg.
[ Laughter ] So, space alien, you are guarding the space egg with your
life, okay? We got this.
[ Laughter ] A giant toothbrush. Okay? So you’re now a space dentist,
all right?
[ Laughter ] Donk I is — it’s a space donkey. It’s a symbol of what
party?
>> Democrats.
>> Conan: Democrats — richard nixon was a republican. So you be like
mad at the space donkey.
[ Laughter ] I want you to partner up right here, if you would. Huh?
Would you come this way? Right over here. Right this way, young lady. Very
nice. And you will be with superman, right here. Nice. How many dudez are
there? How many dudez a plenti? What is it?
>> Five.
>>>> Conan: There are five?
>> Five.
>> Conan: Okay, my bad. I thought it was four. Sorry.
[ Laughter ]
>> Okay. Okay, guys, yeah, enjoy it. Ladies, all over your guy. Yeah.
[ Laughter ] Keep it going. Keep it going.
[ Laughter ]
>> I really have no control over what bagels get put out on the table.
[ Laughter ] My job’s kinda just to watch the table.
>> Conan: I’m pretty tight with lance bass from ‘n sync. And I’m gonna
convince him to join dudez a plenti. It’s gonna be big news. It’s gonna
be huge. Lance bass is gonna join dudez a plenti. Now, we don’t have him
just yet.
[ Laughter ] So let’s shoot this part in front of a green screen, okay?
And then I’m gonna shoot lance later on, and we’re gonna add him to this
scene, where he walks in. And all of a sudden — look who just walked in!
Lance bass just walked in!
>> Oh, sir!
>> What up, man? Hey!
>> Conan: Lance! Here’s my pitch to you. ‘N sync — get out while the
getting’s good and join dudez a plenti. What do you think? This is — opportunities
don’t come often like this.
>> It’s a huge opportunity, but — I don’t know. I mean, I think you’re
good.
>> Conan: Those guys are holding me back, man. Lance bass — you’re
dudez a plenti material. Let me tell you something. There’s a rocket called
dudez a plenti, and it’s going to success planet.
[ Laughter ] There’s one more seat onhehe rocket. I’m holding that seat
for lance bass.
>> But I’m gonna have to decline. I don’t — no.
>> Conan: Lance bass said no.
[ Light laughter ] He did not wanna be in the group. He does not wanna
be in the video. I have no idea how I’m gonna break thiso e ys. And now,
a world premiere video from dudez a plenti.
>> This is gonna bawawesome.
[ Laughter ]
One time
I should not have eaten that tomato
girl, you must be from another time one where awesomeness was not confi-I-eded
to awesome things like I and them
even awesomeness itself does not compare
’cause awesomeness
a awesome, baby not like you
you’re so awesome I say yeah, baby, ooh
how’d you get so awesome, baby?
Drinking lots of awesome juice
the awesome juice has worked, hooray
I want to be with you
hey, there little awesome girl
can I get some awesome juice oh, please
body wants to be with me
ooh, yeah shimma shimma sha ooh
[ Laughter ]
Girl, you must be from another time
I say, one where awesomeness is not confined
to awesome things like a and them
even awesomeness itself does not compare
’cause awesomeness is awesome, baby not like you
you’re really awesome
[ Cheers and applause ]
>> Conan: I think they’re on their way. Unless I forget again.
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