Condi Rice Promises No ‘Dukes Of Hazzard’ Sequel

Speaking in Berlin today, satirical website The Borowitz Report claimed Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice reassured the European community that the United States has no plans to produce a sequel to Jessica Simpson’s big-screen debut, ‘The Dukes of Hazzard.’ “There are no plans now, nor have there ever been plans, to make ‘The Dukes of Hazzard 2′,” she told a gathering of European reporters. “That is not the policy of this administration, and it goes against everything the United States of America stands for.”