Confessions Of A Hater: A Biased Review Of Madonna’s Latest

Madonna 'Confessions On A Dance Floor'

Contributed by divinah: I often get the response “You do not know what you are talking about” on my posts or comments regarding on On the contrary, I AM quite an authority on the old witch — being a former fan myself. I have ALL her CDs — from the very first one to the last one, and EVERYTHING else in between. I still bought her latest, “Confessions on a Dance Floor,” just to complete and update my collection. So here’s my biased — yes, biased (because anyone who claims to be unbiased is simply a hypocrite) — review of this horrible disc. Track by track first, then a general review:

1. Hung Up — Definitely the worst song of the millennium. Horrific video (ok, fine, she still looks good at 47, but the age is really starting to show and she should just really act her age — give your kids some dignity, granny!). Horrible chart performance. Bad choice for a comeback single.

2. Get Together – Heard in her press interviews that “Confessions” will be an all-dance album with no boring ballads. Well, this song is practically a ballad. A boring one too.

3. Sorry — Good one!!! Seriously, really. I like it.

4. Future Lovers – Lame.

5. I Love New York — We all know how Madonna hates America and Bush, so taken in that context, this one is a pretty good tongue-in-cheek novelty song. Lame lyrics, lame melody, but, with the right push, publicity, press and payola, I could see a potential hit.

6. Let It Will Be — Heard too in her press interviews that the CD will have NO messages whatsoever, just fun. This one is so preachy, and people just hate to be taught by one as two-faced as Madonna. Madonna, don’t preach. But oh, you can certainly tell us about “the fall” (no pun intended)!

7. Forbidden Love — Good one. But hey, this too IS a ballad!

8. Jump — Just a filler. Laden with preachy messages though.

9. How High — Another preachy filler. Boring.

10. Isaac – With all those Hebrew chanting and Zohar references, this one is DEFINITELY inspired by the great Galilean Kabbalist Yitzshak Luria!!! Madonna doesn’t just have the balls anymore to face controversy. Anyway, this is another boring ballad. No one CAN dance to a tune like that.

11. Push — Good one. However, I can’t quite put my finger on it…something’s lacking. In this song, you know that Madonna still has it, but you really can’t shake off that feeling that she’s really lost her touch and that she’s really over … for good.

12. Like It Or Not — A defensive song. The plagiarist in Madonna really came out here, this time, she’s ripping off Peggy Lee’s “Fever.” Another ballad you simply CAN’T dance to in clubs.

Additional observations:

1. The “seamless” and “continuous” format really has no point and is really forced.

2. The sampling, repetition of titles, lyrics and melodies from past songs do NOT show Madonna coming to full circle. The CDs references to past songs and borrowings simply betray the fact that Madonna has ran out of ideas.

3. Mirwais and this no-name Stuart Price is really hurting Madonna’s career. She should work with successful, creative and talented producers if she wants to make it in today’s music biz.

4. Whoever gave Madonna the idea that she can write music? She should really re-consider Patrick Leonard, Stephen Bray and William Orbit.

All in all, on a scale of 1 to 10 — 10 being the highest — I give the CD 2 and 1/2, for the 2 and a half good songs in it. Otherwise, it’s a waste of time and money. It’s not a very good and successful comeback effort. But don’t lose hope, EdwardAlex, estephania and company. Before “The Emancipation of Mimi,” there was a CD called “Charmbracelet.” Who knows….


November 20, 2005 – The People reports that Madonna’s performance at G-A-Y last night was fulfilled only after the Astoria complied with ah string of demands. She persuaded bosses to repaint the dressing room and lay a soft carpet, order a huge supply of English breakfast tea, fresh lemons and flowers to make her room smell nice, request silence while she got ready to perform, and insist that she be accompanied by six assistants at all times. Read more.

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9 thoughts on “Confessions Of A Hater: A Biased Review Of Madonna’s Latest

  1. RPL says:

    I must say I am shocked you have all her CD’s and then saying they will flop. But….’, ‘It’s good you hate this untalented bat now lol! She lost her touch. But still you bought her album but you will call it a flop on Tuesday (which is prejected to be a flop)?

  2. RadioFreeRoscoe says:

    Charmbracelet was a pretty good album. It definitely wasn’t Mariah’s best, but it was still good.

    Some of the producers Mariah worked with aren’t “in” either.’, ‘Stop focusing on the few that are well-known. The entire album wasn’t produced by them, so get off it.

  3. EdwardAlex says:

    div glad you bought the album… but no offense but what a total waste of time. Go figure you give a bad review… you hate Madonna. And let me guess Emancipation of Mimi gets 10/10? A bad writer and producer? At least she doesn’t rely on “in” producers to make her music.

  4. popfan_23 says:

    I am not a huge Madonna fan but I’ve liked a few of her tracks over the years, but yeah this cd is not “it” at all, I listened to “Hung Up” the other day and it was awful, the vocals start far too late, and the way the song is, makes it totally unfit for a cd, at a dance club it would work a little better, but that wouldn’t make the song any better.

  5. ilovechristinaaguilera says:

    I disagree. I bought it (it’s my first Madonna album) and’, ‘I think it’s AWESOME! I can’t stop listening to it! Sorry is the best song IMO with Get Together, Forbidden Love, and Hung Up after!

  6. manwithaplan94 says:

    I know that this is your opinion and review which is fine but If I had to rate this cd I would give it a good 8 stars. What do you mean no one can dance to the majority of the songs on there are you crazy the whole cd makes me wanna jump up and dance from start to finish. This cd has dance all over it and in my opinion you couldn’t be more incorrect about hung up after watching her perform that song on The EMA’s I couldn’t wait to get my hands on this cd and her age is not starting to show hell at 47 she looks damn good if I say so there are younger women even some twenty year olds that don’t look that good. I’m sure her children are very proud of their talented sexy hot momma. I mean on the real I thought she was Kylie Minogue I didn’t know she could go that retro and sound that hot. Oh and this cd is not a waste of time and money I am glad I spent my money on it I play it in heavy rotation.

  7. mandysdandy says:

    Why should we take a Lamb’s biased opinion into consideration? You’re pathetic obsession for a tired and uninspired nutcase only clouds your judgment on other female artists. I could easily write a negative review nitpicking every single one of Mimi’s childish and inane songs. That would actually be too easy as all her music could have been written by an insecure teenage girl. However, I don’t need to. Mimi’s cheesy music speaks for itself.

  8. RadioFreeRoscoe says:

    Darling, are you simple? That’s all hip-hop is…dance music.’, ‘Just because it isn’t that gay retro-disco crap, you queens can’t dance to it? Give me a break.

    Madonna’s cheesy music speaks for itself as well.’, ‘It’s all about personal preferences. Madonna is not profound in my opinion, and in the opinion of many others. Other people disagree with me. Get a grip.

  9. CELEBR8 says:

    I am so glad you are a “former fan” cause this review is complete BS. You claim you can’t dance to “Get Together” Or “Like it or Not”, maybe you can’t dance period! I don’t think anybody was expecting a huge artistic turn with this CD, just some good dance music and she delivered as promised. Sure they said that there aren’t any messages in the songs, but any Madonna fans knows better than that. Unless you live under a rock, this CD is very successful. Maybe that is why you took precious time out of your day to write this lame review, because this is how a true Queen of Pop should be received. Hung Up is #1 in many countries as will be the case with COAD, could it be that Mimi’s comeback worldwide wasn’t as successful as it was in the States and after seeing Madonna’s #’s you saw how truly “Over” she really wasn’t? I realize it is a slap in the face to all who said she was over but ask yourself this, How many countries was WBT #1 in at the same time?

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