Confessions Of A Hater: A Biased Review Of Madonna’s Latest
Contributed anonymously:
I often get the response “You do not know what you are talking about” on my posts or comments regarding Madonna on Popdirt.com. On the contrary, I AM quite an authority on the old witch — being a former fan myself. I have ALL her CDs — from the very first one to the last one, and EVERYTHING else in between. I still bought her latest, “Confessions on a Dance Floor,” just to complete and update my collection. So here’s my biased — yes, biased (because anyone who claims to be unbiased is simply a hypocrite) — review of this horrible disc. Track by track first, then a general review:
1. Hung Up — Definitely the worst song of the millennium. Horrific video (ok, fine, she still looks good at 47, but the age is really starting to show and she should just really act her age — give your kids some dignity, granny!). Horrible chart performance. Bad choice for a comeback single.
2. Get Together – Heard in her press interviews that “Confessions” will be an all-dance album with no boring ballads. Well, this song is practically a ballad. A boring one too.
3. Sorry — Good one!!! Seriously, really. I like it.
4. Future Lovers – Lame.
5. I Love New York — We all know how Madonna hates America and Bush, so taken in that context, this one is a pretty good tongue-in-cheek novelty song. Lame lyrics, lame melody, but, with the right push, publicity, press and payola, I could see a potential hit.
6. Let It Will Be — Heard too in her press interviews that the CD will have NO messages whatsoever, just fun. This one is so preachy, and people just hate to be taught by one as two-faced as Madonna. Madonna, don’t preach. But oh, you can certainly tell us about “the fall” (no pun intended)!
7. Forbidden Love — Good one. But hey, this too IS a ballad!
8. Jump — Just a filler. Laden with preachy messages though.
9. How High — Another preachy filler. Boring.
10. Isaac – With all those Hebrew chanting and Zohar references, this one is DEFINITELY inspired by the great Galilean Kabbalist Yitzshak Luria!!! Madonna doesn’t just have the balls anymore to face controversy. Anyway, this is another boring ballad. No one CAN dance to a tune like that.
11. Push — Good one. However, I can’t quite put my finger on it…something’s lacking. In this song, you know that Madonna still has it, but you really can’t shake off that feeling that she’s really lost her touch and that she’s really over … for good.
12. Like It Or Not — A defensive song. The plagiarist in Madonna really came out here, this time, she’s ripping off Peggy Lee’s “Fever.” Another ballad you simply CAN’T dance to in clubs.
Additional observations:
1. The “seamless” and “continuous” format really has no point and is really forced.
2. The sampling, repetition of titles, lyrics and melodies from past songs do NOT show Madonna coming to full circle. The CDs references to past songs and borrowings simply betray the fact that Madonna has ran out of ideas.
3. Mirwais and this no-name Stuart Price is really hurting Madonna’s career. She should work with successful, creative and talented producers if she wants to make it in today’s music biz.
4. Whoever gave Madonna the idea that she can write music? She should really re-consider Patrick Leonard, Stephen Bray and William Orbit.
All in all, on a scale of 1 to 10 — 10 being the highest — I give the CD 2 and 1/2, for the 2 and a half good songs in it. Otherwise, it’s a waste of time and money. It’s not a very good and successful comeback effort. But don’t lose hope, EdwardAlex, estephania and company. Before “The Emancipation of Mimi,” there was a CD called “Charmbracelet.” Who knows….
Tags: Madonna
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