‘Gigli’ Stars Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Flee Angry U.S.

According to the satirical web site Borowitz Report, President Bush made the decision to authorize a $25 million bounty on and fiance Ben Affleck after a closed-door screening of ‘Gigli’ at the White House Friday night with his top national security advisers. “The search for a weapon of mass destruction is over,” Mr. Bush said gravely after seeing the film. When told the couple may have other co-starring vehicles in the pipeline, Mr. Bush said, “Do not – I repeat – do not bring ’em on.” Jen and Ben have fled America upon learning of the news.

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8 thoughts on “‘Gigli’ Stars Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Flee Angry U.S.

  1. Tig says:

    Maybe the public has woke up. Maybe the small thing called morals has taken over. This public display of affection and down-right disgusting public betrayal of the Marriage arrangement in the face of the public, is just what this nasty, two-timing disrespectful couple deserves, failure.

  2. ballersfantasy says:

    Can someone wrap up this story, because I didn’t understand a damn thing after reading it twice.

  3. single_female_lawyer says:

    that was a good creative one besides the usual ass reference. :)

  4. single_female_lawyer says:

    Alright, there was a locked-door screening of the movie ‘Gigli’ at the White House (why I do not know) and after Pres Bush saw it he ordered a bounty or a hit (to kill them) of 25 mil out on Jen and Ben . so they left the US because the US is furious at them for making such a sh**y movie . that what I got out of it hope it helps :)

  5. YogiBear says:

    It’s a satire. it’s very clever.

  6. babet says:

    This is the most weirdest thing I’ve read today. at first I almost believed it….but then I got it…lol. I almost wish it were true.

  7. Stallion says:

    He said the same thing when he listened to now or never.

  8. justincaseyestwo says:

    OK, now THAT was funny as hell. You’d have to have knowledge of the WAR IN IRAQ and some more political knowledge to understand it so if you don’t then just move on from this but, trust me, this is funny.

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