How (Not) To Make Friends At A Major Label

checked in with fans on her blog at MySpace (@terranaomi), offering thoughts on her brief tenure at Island Records and suggesting a semi-humorous list of how (not) to make friends at a major label and walk away with as much free sh** as possible, such as:

1. When they send you shopping with a stylist, buy every possible thing you can and spend every cent of that budget! Don’t bother thinking about the money you’ll have to recoup (pay back) somewhere down the line. Chances are, you’ll never sell the number of albums needed to pay the label back anyway or make any real money.

2. When you have a photo shoot, always try to keep the proof sheets from the session. The label owns the photos, and you cannot technically use them for anything, but it sure is fun to make collages with them and write nasty things about the dumb way they made you look!

3. When your album is released, always take as many boxes of CDs/records/promotional merchandise as you possibly can. Once they shelve your album or drop you from the label or keep you legally bound to the label but stop putting any money into promoting your album, you will love having these things to sell at shows. (That is, if you still derive any pleasure from playing music.)

4. The label also gives you the opportunity to take CDs/promo sh** from their other artists. You should do this. Somewhere along life’s journey you will meet someone who would absolutely LOVE a little wooden boat manned with figurines of the boys from Mcfly. (Who?)

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