The following techniques will help you build a better pop artist:
1. Hire the best song writer(s) and producer(s) money can buy: Monetary compensation is key here. With the correct amount of money a song writer will give “co-writing” credit to the artist and the producer will orchestrate the song to mask any lack of vocal prowess. Additionally, both will say what a pleasure it was to work with the artist in question.
2. Vocal ability: Not really necessary. However, if you do have an artist that can actually sing make sure they over-use their voice at every opportunity. This will remind listeners of the artist’s talent (in case they forgot). If no real vocal talent can be found moaning and whispering on album tracks is an acceptable substitute. Also, complicated choreography may be used to mask this shortcoming when the artist is on stage.
3. Discuss Personal Life At Every Opportunity:
An artist must discuss their personal life either through interviews or in “their” music. (Both is ideal). This is mandatory if they are or were a part of a celebrity couple. If the artist is male he must bitch and moan about any relationship that has gone sour. This will make him appear sensitive and vulnerable. If the artist is female she should “take the high road” and say nothing damaging about the other party, regardless of what is being said about her. It is more acceptable for a man to be a-hole than for a woman to be a bitch.
*Special note* A reality show revolving around the artist’s life may be used–but only as a last resort.
4. Convey maturity through sex: It is important that pop star be seen as a true artist. To reach this goal semi-nudity should be used with discretion. This will clearly demonstrate artist’s growth as a person. (This is mandatory for female artists and optional for male artists). If overuse occurs one of two routes can be taken: The artist can either lash out and say its empowering and tell the media to fu** off OR they may claim they were tricked and did not know what was occurring. Additionally, suggestive videos and lyrics should be used on a consistent basis. When questioned about the content the artist should use the same responses as previously mentioned.
If none of the above techniques work for the pop artist in question, hold an open call to find a replacement. With right people behind them anyone can be a pop star….for at least 15 minutes.