I’m so disappointed about tonight. The VMA’s are not over and I put myself through the pain of having to watch this non-sense with the hope that Britney Spears was going to be in it. I actually canceled on a cruise-dinner with my friends tonight so I can watch this pathetic show. I knew Britney wasn’t going to win. Not because Toxic is not one of the best video of the year, but because, as we all know, MTV is sold out and every year, whether the same people win, or the one who is “hot.” The show is not even about the videos anymore!
Aside from the disappointment by MTV, the fact that Britney didn’t show up feels like a slap on the face. In my face. I understand that maybe she knew she would be there in vain, but we all know that the VMA’s are nothing without her. For the past years, she’s the one to make the headline and bring the ratings to the show. If at least we would have been told she wasn’t going to be in it, I wouldn’t have wasted my time watching this.
After waiting for so long, this happens… Pathetic…
You know? I have followed Britney since the beginning. I have been a hardcore fan like only us can imagine. I have accepted all her mistake because she’s only human. I have cried when she has cried. I have laughed when she has laughed. Lately, I have been watching her act the way she does, and still, I don’t care because that’s her life. People, fans, have put her down over her manners, but why? Like I said, that’s her life. But now? This? You know, I’m one of those who think MTV should be boycotted, and maybe that is what Britney has done since she has never been “graced” with this award, meanwhile, she’s the one pulling the audience and controversy towards it. Isn’t that what she did with the Grammys? But, what about us? The ones who put ourselves to watch this show and waste our time? If she plans to boycott it or something, fine, but let us know in advance.
But, is that what she is doing or is it that she just doesn’t care? I’m starting to think the latter. And this I have to do it based on her behavior (though I hate to do that). I think Britney plainly doesn’t care anymore.
You know, I sit here, writing this e-mail because I’m truly hurt. My fiance, sitting next to me, is looking at me like I’m a silly, sensitive guy, because I care so much for a celebrity: someone I don’t know and “who might not give 2 damns about me” but you know, it truly hurts that the only person I have idolized, even before Madonna, has done this to me, to her fan.
I won’t say anymore. I know that after tonight, many people will feel this way. I wish people out there could see this e-mail… I hope, and don’t hope at the same time (coz then Britney is the one who will be hurt), that I’m not the only who feels this way. I feel guilty because I’m a true fan, but after tonight… I don’t know anything anymore.
I’ll always love Britney, though, and the good memories she and her music brought to my life. Sometimes I think she forgot that she is an image of inspiration to me and so many out there… An image of happiness… A happiness projected in her music which helped me get through so many sad times in my life. (You see, listening to Britney would help me to cheer up in a way that I would forget about my alcoholic father and problems at home… Listening to her put me in another zone. A zone where I am happy, free and unique.) I don’t think Britney knows this. I wish she did…