Jay Leno’s Britney-logue

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Tuesday night, “I dream I’m in a car, Ray Liotta was driving, was cutting my hair, and Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband’s in the backseat saying he’s my real father. It was horrible, horrible! … Well, that’s the big story in the news. has shaved her head, ladies and gentlemen. I couldn’t believe this. Legitimate news organizations are actual breaking into their Anna Nicole Smith coverage to tell you this story. … Friends say this is the craziest thing Britney’s ever done that didn’t involve marriage. It’s unbelievable. … Actually, Britney reentered rehab today. She really went today. And Britney’s manager asked everyone to respect her privacy. Of course, people were shocked. ‘Britney has a manager?’ This guy’s done a worse job than the CEO of JetBlue. … Actually, did you notice – apparently Britney had checked into rehab last week and then checked out less than 24 hours later. That’s what people thought. Apparently what happened was, see, they just tagged her and released her back into the wild. … You got to admit, this whole thing is pretty bizarre, isn’t it? I mean, her marriage is broken up. The authorities are at her house. She’s been in rehab. Now she shaves her head and gets tattoos. She’s Mike Tyson. She’s turned into Mike Tyson. Hey, what’s next? Biting off Paris Hilton’s ear, is that the next thing? … I tell you, the last few days, it’s been non-stop Anna Nicole Smith and coverage. It’s ridiculous. I can’t get any real news anymore. I have no idea who Jennifer Aniston’s dating. I don’t know where Lindsay Lohan’s been. I don’t even know if Cameron is back with Justin. We are in the dark! These stories are dominating. In fashion news, they say hats are in this year. So, finally good news for Britney, huh? That’s good.” That prompted Kevin Eubanks, who has a shaved head himself, to respond, “Why are you dogging Britney, man? I think she looks kind of cute with her head.” Jay responded, “You like the bald thing?” Kevin said, “Well, kind of, yeah.” Jay said, “Yeah. Yeah, I can’t imagine why.”

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