Jay Leno’s Jacko-logue

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Tuesday night, “You may have heard this on the news. According to the Associated Press, I may be called as a a witness in the Michael Jackson trial. Which is really odd because I’m really much closer with Tito. … I don’t know why I would be called. I don’t know what this is about. I don’t know why they want to question me about Michael Jackson. All we ever did was cuddle, okay? … I don’t know why. And people have to make it something dirty. That’s true, my name is on the witness list. I’ll tell you something, I am not going to rat Michael Jackson out. You know, us white folks, we stick together, okay? … Well, the big story — the big story this morning: Michael Jackson rushed to the hospital. The good news: It wasn’t the children’s hospital. … So that’s good. Now, Michael was hospitalized, they said, with the flu. He said his nose was running all morning. In fact, his nose actually beat him to the hospital. It took a shortcut, got there a a little early. … Doctors today described Michael’s position as ‘touch and go’. No, I’m sorry, that’s what he’s on trial for. I’m sorry. … You know what I think what happened with Michael in the hospital? I think when he heard Father Shanley was sentenced to 15 years, he started having chest pains, and they took him. … Well, I don’t know if you saw his interview on ’20/20′ Friday night. Corey Feldman, the child actor, said that after Michael Jackson believed that Corey was going to write a tell-all about him, he threatened Corey’s life, and Corey was scared. I don’t know what’s more embarrassing for Corey, admitting he slept in the same room with Michael Jackson, or testifying under oath that you’re afraid Michael Jackson is going to beat you up. … Well, now, I’m not the only, quote, celebrity, that’s supposedly going to testify. Michael’s lawyers told jurors they’re also going to call Backstreet Boy Nick Carter in to testify. Let me tell you something. That’s a big mistake. Anytime you have the words ‘Michael Jackson’ and ‘Backstreet Boy’ in the same sentence, it just sounds guilty, okay?”