Jay Leno’s Wednesday Night Jacko-logue

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Wednesday night, “As you know, Michael Jackson was late for court again this week. Have you seen him? He had two people helping him walk into the building. He was constantly late. He’s crying a lot. He’s walking stiffly. I think he’s going through menopause. … Michael Jackson also said he’s having trouble breathing. Well, duh. That’s what happens when you cut your nose off. Hello? … So, did you see this? Yesterday, Michael brought his personal magician into court with him. Better see this thing doesn’t turn into a circus. … See, I guess the magician’s job at Neverland was to make the young boys’ pants disappear. … At the trial yesterday, did you hear about this? A flight attendant testified that when Michael would fly on her airline, she had standing orders to serve him wine hidden in Diet Coke cans. They would hide the wine in Coke cans. It’s an old trick you learn from the pilots, you know. … And according to NBC News, they say Michael Jackson is broke. Can’t even afford the payroll at the Neverland Ranch. How about that? So next time you see Michael with his hands in a a 12-year-old’s pocket, he might just be looking for lunch money.”