Jessica Simpson Outed As CIA Agent
According to the Borowitz Report, Jessica Simpson was outed today as a CIA operative, according to a source familiar with the leak, marking another embarrassing incident for the White House. According to the source, Simpson’s astonishingly dense performance on ‘Newlyweds’ was “just an act – a very, very convincing act, but an act nonetheless.” The source added, “Jessica was acting like a total dimwit to lull the enemy into a false sense of security. The CIA was hoping that, over time, Jessica Simpson would be able to smash al Qaeda.”
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