Jessica Simpson Visits ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’

Jessica Simpson visited ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ on Thursday night (October 5) to promote her new film ‘Employee Of The Month’. Simpson discussed the dating rumors that surround her, being followed everywhere by paparazzi, her huge collection of personal journals, hoping to have a “Jessicawood” like her idol Dolly Parton’s “Dollywood”, whether she could date a “regular guy”, and more. Read on for a rough transcript.

Jimmy: Please say hello to Jessica Simpson.

[ Cheers and applause ] You look adorable as always.

Jessica: Thank you very much.

Jimmy: Good to see you. Met in Germany, actually.

Jessica: We did.

Jimmy: When we were in the military fighting the Iraqis. We did, went on a USO tour together.

Jessica: That was a good time.

Jimmy: I was hoping when we were there would be rumors we were dating but shockingly, none.

Jessica: They would be now. I wasn’t a big enough celebrity, maybe.

Jimmy: I don’t think then anybody would think that was case. I don’t think there would be rumors.

Jessica: If we walked out now, I guarantee you.

Jimmy: Let’s go out.

Jessica: I would love to.

Jimmy: Good to have you. I hope everything is going well.

Jessica: Everything is going very well.

Jimmy: You had an interesting life, more interesting than most people.

Jessica: It’s been an interesting year.

Jimmy: Everywhere you go a hoard of photographers following you around.

Jessica: Yes. I used to think about my outfits now I don’t. Mostly on worst dressed list.

Jimmy: Really? You find you are on the worst dressed a lot?

Jessica: I have been when you go wear sweats to pump gas. Somehow it’s a red carpet.

Jimmy: In a way it’s a giant act on your part to go out in sweats and say I don’t give a crap I’m pumping some gas.

Jessica: That’s the real Jessica Simpson right there.

Jimmy: Oprah doesn’t even know how to pump gas.

Jessica: I heard about that.

Jimmy: She learned for the first time.

Jessica: I’m not saying i know how.

Jimmy: You swipe the credit card.

Jessica: I try.

Jimmy: Do you pump your own gas?

Jessica: I do.

Jimmy: You must know.

Jessica: I like to, got a big old range rover, probably pump too much gas.

Jimmy: The smell of the gas —

Jessica: I always liked that smell.

Jimmy: Do you top off or stop?

[ Laughter ] You know when it stops and you are not supposed to keep going?

Jessica: I keep going.

Jimmy: I do, too, I live on the edge like that.

Jessica: I do, too.

Jimmy: We would make a very cute couple.

Jessica: We would. Have you ever driven off with that in?

Jimmy: That I’ve not done.

Jessica: I’ve done that.

Jimmy: Really? Wow. What happens when you do that?

Jessica: Just goes flinging around, not know what to land.

Jimmy: Do you keep going or do you stop?

Jessica: I keep going.

[ Laughter ]

Jimmy: Just throw a cigarette out the window.

Jessica: Wasn’t me.

Jimmy: Well, ha something I don’t think people knew about you. What else can you tell us — I know you keep a journal.

Jessica: I do.

Jimmy: Seems like a very bad idea for someone like you.

Jessica: Some nights i write in pencil, some nights in pen.

Jimmy: I gotcha.

Jessica: Some nights i know what I write I’ll want to erase.

Jimmy: My sister for instance foolishly kept a journal and of course I broke into and I got it, found out she loved Donny Osmond and told everyone.

Jessica: Oh, really? Not very nice brother.

Jimmy: Oh, no, no, I was bad. You have much more than just brothers to worry about. You have —

Jessica: Yeah.

Jimmy: Vultures surrounding you.

Jessica: Thank you for that, now everybody on the hunt for all of my journals. People breaking into my house for my journals.

Jimmy: How many do you have?

Jessica: Definitely over 100.

Jimmy: Really? Wow. Are you careful?

Jessica: I go through like one every five months.

Jimmy: Really? Are you careful about what you write?

Jessica: No.

Jimmy: You write — you are serious about stuff?

Jessica: The only way, for me, only way to get to know myself.

Jimmy: Do you keep in a safe deposit box?

Jessica: I’m going to tell you I do. I do.

Jimmy: You should, by the way.

Jessica: I do. I keep it in a safe.

Jimmy: You should keep it in the safe. You should keep it at the mint or something for them to protect.

Jessica: I actually — I keep it a couple of friends’ houses.

Jimmy: Really?

Jessica: Just in case something were to happen, I have them locked up in certain place.

Jimmy: These are friends you trust?

Jessica: Yes. My little treasure chests.

Jimmy: Of all of the places you’ve been in the world what’s been the best place you visited?

Jessica: I’m an Austin, Texas, kind of girl. I love Austin, everything from the music and the people and willie nelson and —

Jimmy: And they fry everything.

Jessica: They fry everything to where you think it’s healthy.

Jimmy: They have a movie near the, waiters and waitresses that serve food while you are in the movie theater.

Jessica: Like the old days.

Jimmy: Did they do that in old days?

Jessica: You drove up, could pack your own lunch.

Jimmy: You are in the movies now, not just snacking at the movies.

Jessica: Weird thing.

Jimmy: With our pal Dane Cook

Jessica: Great, great guy.

Jimmy: Rumors with Dane —

Jessica: Every person, I got around on that set.

[ Laughter ]

Jimmy: My uncle Frank, for instance, you walked past him and already there are stories.

Jessica: I couldn’t help it.

Jimmy: About the two of you. You made the movie and I’ve interrogated Dane on this subject and he’s — if anything did go on he’s not saying it.

Jessica: If anything did go on between us? We had chemistry, onscreen chemistry, and off screen but nothing sexually.

Jimmy: Dane shaves his whole body. People don’t don’t knee?

Jessica: Does he, really? Didn’t know that. I thought I was a gear friend of his.

Jimmy: You guys made the movie and looks like a funny movie.

Jessica: We all had a blast making it. It’s fun because there is a lot of standup comedians.

Jimmy: Who else is in the movie?

Jessica: He’ a genius.

Jimmy: The good Andy Dick or the bad?

Jessica: We got the good one.

Jimmy: Because the good one is really good and a lot of fun.

Jessica: Yeah. dual personalities.

Jimmy: The bad one is horrible.

Jessica: I always get the good one. That’s a good thing. I did in my video, i had to lick his face which was a little odd. But scruffy.

Jimmy: That maniac wrote a song but.

Jessica: Dehe?

Jimmy: About wanting to drink and put his feet in your hair.

Jessica: Really? Is it a new thing?

Jimmy: I heard it on Adam Corolla’s radio show.

Jessica: You should have him on and do it.

Jimmy: If good Andy shows up. You didn’t know about that?

Jessica: Didn’t know that. He didn’t tell me.

Jimmy: Not everybody gets him. Who did you meet that you were most excited about meeting?

Jessica: Dolly Parton. My ideal person to meet. I look up to her of I just found out she asked me to sing a song or one of her things.

Jimmy: Which song?

Jessica: I don’t know yet.

Jimmy: Great. A tribute to her?

Jessica: Yeah. She’s winning some award.

Jimmy: Have you ever been to Dollywood?

Jessica: I have not been to Dollywood but hope to have a Jessicawood sometime.

Jimmy: I think a lot of Americans have had Jessicawood for quite some time. I apologize. I have a very dirty mind. We’ll take break. Jessica Simpson is with us. Her new movie is called “employee of the month” opens tomorrow. We’ll have more after this. Come on back. &,

Jimmy: There you go, Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook in “Employee of the Month.” Opens tomorrow. Jessica have you ever been to Costco?

Jessica: I buy everything in bulk.

Jimmy: I spend my weekends there.

Jessica: It’s amazing what they have. It’s you have everything you could possibly imagine.

Jimmy: I go, this is why people in other countries hate news America
because they have everything there and it’s just short of free, really there.

Jessica: Just short of.

Jimmy: Because you are in the public eye so much, could you even possibly date like a regular guy? Would you be able — would it be —

Jessica: I don’t know. I would think i would hope so. But you never know.

Jimmy: I mean if you went in the supermarket and saw —

Jessica: He won’t. We would all of the sudden by everywhere.

Jimmy: A lot of pressure on some guys. Why do famous people date other famous people but i think in a way, for you —

Jessica: Balances you out a little bit.

Jimmy: Somebody wld freak out, there are photographers around you —

Jessica: Seriously, when it’s least expected.

Jimmy: Right now. Please —

Jessica: Wow.

Jessica: I’m working here, kimmel.

Jessica: The cover of —

Jimmy: Go right back in the box we put you in.

Jessica: No, really, i get scared of stuff like that.

Jimmy: I don’t blame you for getting scared.

Jessica: The other night i was out, i was scared there was a listening device in the couch. It’s weird the things you think about and how paranoid you get.

Jimmy: You should date a paparazzi photographer and you could always be together.

Jessica: Oh, yummy.

Jimmy: Know all the guys.

Jessica: I think I’ll just be on my own.

Jimmy: This is your album. How much time do you have to work on stuff like this? As far as music?

Jessica: I focus on one thing at a time, so i released this like three weeks ago and in the making of it, that was my focus. Before I actually promoted it, i shot “employee of the month” and now I’m promoting it and going to do another movie with luke will son called “Blond Ambition.”

Jimmy: Do you think of yourself as a musician or actor?

Jessica: I — overall entertainer. I, you know, I like to focus on the one thing I’m doing at that very moment, that way i can give it my all.

Jimmy: Gotcha. I write “entertainer” on my tax returns as well. “Jimmy Kimmel, entertainer.” I like the sound of it.

Jessica: I do, too.

Jimmy: Let me tell but Jessica Simpson, we went to Germany, you were so nice, extra, extra nice. I think people —

Jessica: How could you not be, those men and women are so amazing. They changed my life

Jimmy: People find ways not to be.

Jessica: Thank you.

Jimmy: Opens tomorrow, cd called “A Public Affair.” In stores now

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