John Ashcroft Detains Janet Jackson’s Boob At Gitmo

According to the satirical website The Borowitz Report, just hours after singer Janet Jackson shocked the world after *NSYNC star Justin Timberlake exposed her right boob at the conclusion of Sunday’s Super Bowl halftime show, Attorney General John Ashcroft ordered the offending boob detained “indefinitely,” Mr. Ashcroft confirmed today. “Janet Jackson’s right boob has been taken into custody and sent to Guantanamo Bay for questioning,” Mr. Ashcroft told reporters in a Washington briefing. “We’d very much like to know what the boob knew and when it knew it.”