John Mayer Masturbates His Way Out Of Problems

A shirtless graces the cover of Rolling Stone’s new issue, where the 32-year-old discusses how his life has been helped by masturbating.

I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn’t pick up because I’m masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion. First of all, I don’t jerk off because I’m horny. I’m sort of half-chick. It’s like District 9. I can fire alien weapons. I can insert a tampon. No, I do it because I want to take a brain bath. It’s like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself.

A preview and watch behind the scenes footage from the photo shoot at has since been removed/relocated.

Performs ‘The Heart Of Life’ On ‘Larry King Live’

January 20, 2010 – performed at the Hammersmith Apollo in London, England on Monday (January 18). The singer songwriter’s performance of ‘The Heart of Life’ aired during the ‘Larry King Live’ 2-hour special raising earthquake relief funds for Haiti. Watch it below the cut.

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