TMZ obtained John Mayer’s videotaped self-affirmation, which includes a candid look in the 80’s movie soundtracks that fill his brain. “You don’t have to lie to get ahead in life,” Mayer says in the clip. “Don’t tell girls you wrote ‘Teen Wolf’, they can look sort of thing up nowadays. You be you. John Mayer, retired astronaut. So get out there and give today a tongue bath, because you’re good, and you’re gonna be even better as soon as you get your urethra narrowed. Call the doctor. You’re the best around. No one is ever gonna beat you down.” Watch the video below.