Kucinich’s Naked Breast Fails To Sway Voters

According to The Borowitz report, Rep. Dennis Kucinich’s decision to expose his right breast on national television Sunday night just after Janet Jackson did likewise at the Super Bowl did little to woo voters participating in the Democratic primaries and caucuses on Tuesday, exit polls suggest. “My entire family was watching C-Span2 when Mr. Kucinich decided to treat us to the sight of his naked booby,” one writer to the network complained. “My children have been traumatized for life.” Kucinich blamed the shirt-ripping incident on a “wardrobe malfunction.”