Lawyers Force ‘Late Night’ To Add Clay Aiken Disclaimer

Conan O’Brien told the audience on Wednesday night’s ‘Late Night’ episode: “Now, folks we make fun of celebrities a lot on this show. It’s just what we do. But to play it safe, NBC lawyers have advised us run disclaimers at the end of the our show so we don’t get in trouble from celebrities, that way they can’t sue us. Here’s a typical disclaimer we ran at the end of one of last week’s shows.” The ‘Late Night’ announcer then stipulates: “NBC and ‘Late Night’ hereby stipulate that any jokes made during the show, impugning Clay Aiken’s masculinity are pure conjecture and not presented as fact. There’s no concrete evidence that Mr. Aiken or any of his male fans are necessarily gay, bi-sexual, bi-curious, or particularly in-touch with their feminine side. Likewise, we do not know for a fact whether Clay lives in a fluffy pink castle in an especially gay neighborhood of Fairyland where elves massage his feet and sprinkle rose petals on him while he makes out with Richard Simmons. Furthermore, describing Clay as Barbara Streisand with a smaller penis is totally conjecture and may well be inaccurate. Nor can we vouch for the veracity of puns derived from his name, including but not limited to — ‘Gay Aiken’, ‘His butt is what’s Aiken most of the time’, and ‘Aiken makin’ bacon with a big hairy Jamaican’.”