Leno Jokes About His ‘Tonight Show’ No-Show

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Tuesday night, “You know, we had Lindsay Lohan booked on the show tonight, but apparently she was already booked. … You know, I thought our competition was ‘Nightline’ and ‘Letterman’. Turns out it’s ‘Cops’ and ‘America’s Most Wanted’. … Guess you all heard that story by now. Early this morning, Lindsay Lohan was arrested on suspicion of DUI and possession of cocaine. Yeah. She told the cops she’s just researching a role for a movie in which she would play herself. … Now, didn’t she just leave that rehab center in Malibu, Promises? I hope she kept the receipt. … What is the promise? They keep the room ready for you? … Actually, I guess this is, like, the second time this year she’s been arrested. And, of course, under L.A. law, she could do as much as 72 hours in jail. … Oh, let’s hope she straightens that out.”