Lindsay Lohan’s Cry For Help

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Monday night, “A media psychologist said today that Lindsay Lohan’s recent behavior is a cry for help. Mainly from everybody else on the road. ‘Help, look out!’ … Man, it doesn’t get any better here. It looks like Lindsay is now being accused of commandeering an SUV and taking its occupants on a high-speed chase. It’s unbelievable, isn’t it? A lot of people wondering how a a 21-year-old petite actress could overpower three men and steal their car with two of them still in it. But, hey, but you forget, a a berserk celebrity has the strength of four regular celebrities. … It’s just girls gone wild. Nicole Richie sentenced four days in jail for her DUI, and Nicole has started a prison hunger strike. I believe she started in 2004. First Paris Hilton went to jail. Nicole Richie’s going to jail. Looks like Lindsay Lohan may be going to jail. Boy, I bet O.J. And Robert Blake are having a good laugh over this one. … Hey, did you hear about this? The latest rumor is that Paris Hilton’s grandfather, Baron Hilton, I think his name is, he’s so upset at her behavior – you know, going to jail and drinking and all this – he has cut her out of her $60 million inheritance. You know what that means? She may have to get by on her talent.”