Madonna’s ‘I’m Going To Tell You A Secret’ DVD/CD

Contributed anonymously:

’s latest release, “I’m going to tell you a secret” is a DVD and CD set. The DVD contains her 2005 documentary of the same name, and the CD contains some live songs from the 2004 Re-Invention Tour.

“I’m going to tell you a secret” is a sequel of sorts to the now-classic “Truth or Dare,” and pales in comparison to its predecessor. Rejected at the Cannes Film Festival, this straight-to-video affair is a total mess, a snooze-fest of the first degree. It’s latter part is really an Eitan Yardeni “Kabbalah” corny infomercial. The scene of the Jewish boy and the Arab boy in the end is mush at its worst. Madonna tries so hard to project an enlightened, more mature, more humane image but fails. Instead of coming across as kinder and gentler, she just appears (albeit unintentionally as a crazed Kabbalah nut with strong anti-American tendencies). Note that I didn’t say “religious” nut. This is because she made it very clear in the documentary that religion is the cause of division. This is very ill-informed of her. Have we no right to profess our individuals faiths? Why blame religion for all the world’s troubles? It’s also crazy and uneducated to reduce Kabbalah into a principle or discipline independent of religion, per se Judaism and the Torah. To so would just make it into what Madonna and her rabbi are advocating: new age crap. Former fans like myself would rather have the bitchy and sassy Madonna of “Truth or Dare.” No, she didn’t grow up or mature. Madonna just went nuts a la Michael Jackson. Let the truth be said: once pop stars begin “healing the world,” that’s when their careers end.

Guy Ritchie and his son Rocco are the delights in this production. There’s a certain likeability about them. Very lovable. It’s priceless – that scene where Guy said to Madonna before she hits the stage: “Fly like a bird!” It’s something of a harbinger, an omen. This was the time before “The Emancipation of Mimi,” the CD that destroyed all chances for Madonna to reclaim whatever place she has in pop music.

We could say that the release of this DVD is another career misstep for Madonna and another disappointment for her fans. They would have appreciated it more had the DVD for the Re-Invention Tour been released instead. Speaking of which: fans and former fans alike have been waiting for The Virgin Tour and the Blond Ambition Tour to make it on DVD forever!

As for the CD, it’s touted as Madonna’s first live CD. You’ve heard one, you’ve heard them all. There’s nothing to be excited about this one, except for “Imagine,” which hasn’t appeared on any Madonna CD yet. Also worthy of note is the original version of “I Love New York,” which is really the stand-out here. During the time of the “Remixed and Revisited” CD, there were talks of Madonna releasing a rock CD, as “American Life” and “Love Profusion” were given rock (and BETTER) arrangements in that CD. This version of “I Love New York” comes from that time. Makes you wonder why Madonna choose the laughable and unsuccessful leotard/disco route instead. Makes you wonder what would have happened had she turned to rock after the American Life fiasco. Would’ve made an interesting comeback. But we all know what happened: it was Kelly Clarkson who followed that path and succeeded, while Madonna until now is trying hard to get back.

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