Michael Jackson Finally Is Acting Like A Normal Guy

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Wednesday, “Attorney Gloria Allred attacked Michael ‘All-White’ Jackson today — for dangling the baby off the balcony. She said she wants to go ever after him. You know, child endangerment laws. And today, when Michael was asked how he felt about it, he said, ‘She can go to hell.’ Michael Jackson told Gloria Allred to go to hell. Finally, he’s acting like a normal guy. Yeah! Go get ‘em Michael, yeah! Good for you! Ah! Finally, the testosterone’s kicking in.”

Jay later joked, “Michael’s breach of contract trial got under way again yesterday in Santa Maria, California. Michael showed up for the court on crutches wearing only one shoe. Apparently, his plastic surgeons are trying to see if they could transplant one of his toes to where his nose used to be. Did you see him limping? You think he’d be more careful with that foot. It’s the only original body part he’s got left.”