Michael Jackson Finally Is Acting Like A Normal Guy

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Wednesday, “Attorney Gloria Allred attacked Michael ‘All-White’ Jackson today — for dangling the baby off the balcony. She said she wants to go ever after him. You know, child endangerment laws. And today, when Michael was asked how he felt about it, he said, ‘She can go to hell.’ told Gloria Allred to go to hell. Finally, he’s acting like a normal guy. Yeah! Go get ’em Michael, yeah! Good for you! Ah! Finally, the testosterone’s kicking in.”

Jay later joked, “Michael’s breach of contract trial got under way again yesterday in Santa Maria, California. Michael showed up for the court on crutches wearing only one shoe. Apparently, his plastic surgeons are trying to see if they could transplant one of his toes to where his nose used to be. Did you see him limping? You think he’d be more careful with that foot. It’s the only original body part he’s got left.”

Photos Of Michael Jackson’s Odd Courtroom Behavior

December 4, 2002 – The Sun has photos of being carried into Santa Maria court on Tuesday, making a binocular gesture as he testifies, and a bizarre sign language to a stunned courtroom staff. Check out the photos here.

Doc Doesn’t Buy Jacko’s Spider Bite Excuse

December 4, 2002 – The New York Post reports an entomologist familiar with the area around Jackson’s estate called Michael Jackson’s excuse for being on crutches — a spider bite — a web of lies. “The fact that says he has a spider bite is a bunch of crap,” said Rick Vetter, a researcher at the University of California, Riverside. “Jackson has no idea what he’s talking about. I want to see the spider.” Vetter said spiders rarely bite people and are often wrongly blamed for other conditions: from mosquito bites to cancer.

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