Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Thursday night, “More problems for Michael Jackson. Today his inner child filed a restraining order against him. … The National Enquirer says the police found Michael Jackson’s stash of porn in a briefcase at the Neverland Ranch. See, that just shows you how truly strange Michael Jackson is – what guy hides his porno in a briefcase. You hide it in your sock drawer like any good American.”
Michael Jackson Signals The Holiday Season Is Here
December 9, 2004 – Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Tuesday night, “You can tell it’s the holidays. Authorities raided the Neverland Ranch today and found Michael Jackson in bed with the little drummer boy. … Authorities have tested Michael Jackson’s DNA and made an astonishing discovery. They now think Michael Jackson may be a black man in his 40s.”
Michael Jackson Prosecution Split?
December 8, 2004 – Citizens — and potential jury pool members — in Santa Barbara, California, are scratching their heads over Friday’s 11th hour raid on pop star Michael Jackson’s ranch, and ‘Celebrity Justice’ has discovered the search may signal a division in the ranks of his molestation case’s prosecution.
Getting Jacko’s DNA Not An Easy Task For Police
December 7, 2004 – Court TV’s Diane Dimond spoke with ‘Access Hollywood’ to provide details on why police raided Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch last week and the troubles they had convincing the King of Pop to provide a DNA sample. “Michael Jackson had twenty four hours to allow them to swab the inside of his cheek. He absolutely refused to give this swab. He had his attorney fly in. No one could convince him,” Dimond explained. Jackson caved in after it was clear he could be jailed otherwise. “If Michael Jackson had continued to refuse to give that sample, he would have been held in contempt of court. He could have been jailed,” Dimond revealed.
Neverland Searched For DNA Evidence
December 7, 2004 – Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Monday night, “I’m sure you heard about this – on Friday, authorities in Santa Barbara searched Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch looking for new DNA evidence on Michael’s bed. I don’t want to say it looks bad for Michael, but from what they gathered, they were able to clone three little boys. That is not good. In fact, you know what Michael Jackson said when he saw the sheriff’s deputies pull up. ‘Remember, if anyone knocks on the door, you’re all elves’.”
Frosty The Jacko
December 6, 2004 – David Letterman joked during his Late Show monologue on Friday night, “A holiday classic was on CBS tonight, ‘Frosty The Snowman’. We all know Frosty. He has snow white face, the button eyes and a carrot nose… wait that’s Michael Jackson.”