Michael Jackson’s Condition Upgraded

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Wednesday night, “The good news today from the hospital — did you hear about this? Michael Jackson’s condition has been upgraded from nutball to weirdo. We are very excited. … Here’s my question. How do you even know when Michael Jackson is sick? Does the color suddenly return to his cheeks? Is that what happens? … Actually, if you saw the press conference, doctors in the E.R. examined Michael Jackson for over an hour. They said it was like an episode of ‘Alien Autopsy’. You know, they weren’t quite sure. None of the organs were in the same place. … But the good news is, they said this is the first time Michael Jackson ever went into a hospital and came out with the same nose he went in with. First time it’s ever happened. Very exciting.”