Moby Ponders Secession After Bush Victory

Moby posted a message on his official site after the election victory of George W. Bush. “Can someone remind me why secession is not an option at this point,” the libeal singer asked. “I mean let’s be realistic, we live in a divided country. Can’t we have the breakaway republics of ‘north-east-istan’ and ‘pacific-stan’? Wouldn’t the red states be happier without us? We could still travel freely and trade freely with them, but can’t we just leave? Then you could have 3 countries: Northeastistan, Pacificstan, Redstateistan. One other option would be for us to all join the Republican party en masse and make it socially liberal and fiscally conservative (as opposed to it’s current ‘socially puritanical/fiscally insane’ status). Ok, it’s done. John Kerry has seceded. If you need us, my friends and I will be drunk for the next 4 years.”