Networks Ask Jackson Judge For New Trial

According to satirical website The Borowitz Report, on the eve of closing arguments in the Michael Jackson child-molestation trial, a coalition of the major all-news networks has asked the judge in the case for a new trial, claiming that the current legal proceedings were “not long enough.” A spokesperson for the networks, Peter Fendell, said, “Unless there is another, longer trial, preferably one that lasts until May sweeps in 2007, justice will not be served.” Read more.