Paris Hilton Family Mob Connection

According to Jerry Oppenheimer’s new book ‘House of Hilton’, Paris Hilton’s parents almost didn’t get married because her maternal grandmother was married to a mobster. “Big Kathy used to boast to friends that ‘if you ever need someone taken care of,’ her husband had the muscle to handle it.” But Big Kathy got nervous when her daughter hooked up with Rick. “I can’t have the Hiltons finding out what [my husband] does,” she told a friend, later divorcing the man whose name has been withheld.

Paris Hilton Heading To Outer Space

September 7, 2006 – Carson Daly joked during his Last Call monologue on Wednesday night, “Let me just start off with probably the dumbest story I’ve read about in the last ten yes. Paris Hilton wants to go to outer space. Have you heard about this? [Laughter] I swear to god, this is a true story. Paris Hilton is actually planning to blast into space on a tourist rocket called ‘The Virgin Enterprise.’ [Laughter] In a related story, ‘The Virgin Enterprise’ rocket has just been renamed ‘The Billionaire Slut Shuttle.’ [Cheers and applause] Which makes a lot more sense. Or ‘The Sluttle’, as I like to call it. [ Laughter ] Put paris on ‘The Sluttle’ and let her go. And bring every copy of her album with her. [ Laughter and applause ] Take two Sluttles. Take the whole slew of Sluttles with all the records and just put ’em out there.”

Paris Hilton: I Didn’t Make Out With Travis Barker, Just With His Friend

September 7, 2006 – Jeannette Walls of MSNBC.com reports Paris is correcting a report from In Touch magazine that she was spotted “making out like crazy” with +44 drummer Travis Barker at the Spearmint Rhino in Las Vegas. “I did not make out with Travis Barker,” Hilton said. “I was with his friend Alex, who I met that night. It’s nothing serious. He looks like Travis, he has tattoos all over his arms, and he has a mohawk. People must have seen us and confused him with Travis.”

Paris Hilton’s CD Vandalized

September 7, 2006 – Conan O’Brien joked during his Late Night monologue on Wednesday night, “A British man is in trouble because he vandalized 500 copies of Paris Hilton’s CD to make it look like she was topless on the cover. Yeah, the man said the hardest part about making Paris look topless was drawing on the pants.”

Paris Hilton Gets Treatment For Rabies

September 6, 2006 – Paris was photographed sporting a bandage on her shoulder after getting a shot for her continuing treatment after being bitten by her pet kinkajou.

Bad Back Hits Andre Agassi & Paris Hilton

September 6, 2006 – Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Tuesday night, “Over the weekend, congratulations to Andre Agassi. What a terrific champion he is. Really played his heart out on his last match at the U.S. Open before he retired from tennis. He retired because of his back. You know, his back just couldn’t take it anymore. The same reason Paris Hilton’s not making any more sex videos.”