It is indeed unfortunate that our beloved pop divas are infested with lethal, career-murdering diseases, and while their legion of fans are bemoaning their imminent doom, the rest of us are just waiting for their their postmortem ads. For fans who are trying to rescue their favorite pop divas, please send in your antidotes:
Mandy Moore: Boringitis
This woman is colorless, tasteless and odorless, which makes her indistinguishable from air. Remakes, trite pop songs and yawnful movies will only prolong life slightly.
Jessica Simpson: Brain cells deficiency syndrome
While buffaloes grow wings and tuna are chicken in the sea, Jessica Simpson will only have her boobs as a float in this violent sea, filled with more talented artists.
Avril Lavigne: Selective Amnesia
I am a punk chick, don’t compare me with bimbo Britney, but I sing pure pop songs. I write songs that Matrix wrote for me , and i am still writing catchy pop songs that someone else is writing for me. I hate pop .. I am a rock star .. Avril- DECIDE WHICH LIES YOU WANT TO TELL.
Christina Aguilera – Attention Deficit Disorder
Look at me.. Look at me.. I hate everybody, I am the best singer in the whole world, i was never in Mickey Mouse Club, I love piercings, I love sex and i am van Gogh (more frightening statements made by Christina are not suitable to be read by anyone under 50) .. while most gifted with a beautiful and bounty voice, Christina has not done ANYTHING ORIGINAL .. from her constant obsession with Britney Spears, and her music styling that borrows from EVERYONE.. dirrty should be called “stuppppppppppppid” – one “p” for every time she thinks she’s Aretha Franklin, and “fighter” should have been an instructional video for pop girlies trying to pretend “edgy”..
Beyoncé Knowles- Slow Growth Syndrome
Beyoncé is perfect . PERIOD.. beautiful, gorgeous, fascinating, and did anyone notice how beautiful she is ? Maybe she is what people call.. PERFECT … at least physically….and one day, she will take over the world… but she better move fast meanwhile …We just pray that her hips would not keep growing..
Britney Spears – Alcoholism
Britney, Britney, Britney – what would pop be without Britney Spears? I am not Madonna not yet a Stevie Nick .. Drunk from overdose of commercialism and fame, her music suffers a second seat .. but with songs like “I’m a slave for you” -delicious R N B gem and “Early Morning” -surprisingly successful fusion of trance and techno .. Spears should seek help and WAKE UP, SING LIVE AND CONTINUE TO WRITE !!!
well… when this batch of young divas are gone, the world will just have to contend themselves with another batch of divas..