Republicans Having A Worse Week Than K-Fed

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Friday night, “The big story, you know, the Republicans lost both houses. They’re actually having a worse week than Kevin Federline. He only got kicked out of one house. … Well, it looks like K-Fed may be working at K-Mart. I guess you know about that. … Britney Spears has filed for divorce. And news of the breakup comes as a huge surprise to no one, really. … Actually, according to the tabloids, they said that Britney yelled an offensive four-letter word to Kevin. I believe it was ‘work!’ … Well, Britney said today she doesn’t want any of Kevin’s property, especially the 100,000 unsold cds piled up in the garage. … In fact, before he found out his wife was dumping him, Kevin Federline told an online website he was planning on buying Britney a go kart for christmas. Gee, I wonder why the marriage failed, huh? A go kart for christmas. Isn’t that one of those signs you might be a redneck, pretty much? … Anyway, Kevin says he has now sworn off celebrity relationships. That’s it. No more celebrities. He’s now looking for an ordinary girl to support him, you know, someone with a a regular job.”