Robbie Williams Makes Vow Of Celibacy

The Mirror reports Robbie Williams has conceded defeat in a search for a mate and declared himself celibate. “I’ve hung up my shagging boots,” he admitted. “For my official retirement ceremony there was a big Olympic-style games where all the girls got together. There was a relay, a torch, the shot-put and the javelin and I gave them all apples. It was nice to see them all in one stadium together. Then I did half an hour and closed the ceremony and everyone blew me a kiss. And off I went into the sunset. To become a monk.”