Calvin Harris went on a Twitter rant moments ago while in Australia, complaining about the hotel’s internet connection fees and dismissing any talk that he may be retiring from the music biz. The British artist tells followers (@calvinharris):

$27.50 a day internet in this hotel, you dirty bastards I’ll get you back tomorrow at the breakfast buffet, this isn’t over

I’m not even talking about eating all the food. Just putting it away. Any means necessary. Watch me. Watch the eggs disappear.

I’m in the home of the Ugg. There’s an Ugg store right by here. I’ll buy countless pairs and fill them with beans and sausages, all of them

This isn’t about me making a profit, it’s about them making a LOSS. I’m so excited I’m never going to get any sleep tonight

I’m not going to WEAR them you daft bastard pay attention RT @jr27m No offense, but a man in UGG Boots, is a fail of EPIC proportions…

Fu**ing disgusting, hang your head. Ashamed to be followed by you RT @JT6109 just teabag all the food!!

Only messing guys. I love you all.. I wouldn’t be in this hotel if it were not for you, I’d be down the road at Holiday Inn getting good value

I’m not hostile at all, we’re having a laugh!? RT @TheQueerGuy Pissing myself that @calvinharris is so hostile towards his followers.

Listen – people keep messaging me on here saying I’m retiring. Where the fu** did you get that from? I’m not fu**ing Duffy I love music

Who would retire from music on a whim? Ridiculous. Plus, have you seen me recently? I look fu**ing fantastic. Prime of my life. Outstanding

And I’m singing on the second single. And I sound bloody brilliant. Fu**ing superb in fact. Superb.

aaahahahhahaaaaaahaha sorry

Are you kidding me?! Fu**ing loads of Autotune big man! A LOT. of tuning RT @_getstokedonit and no Auto-tune in sight I hope!? haha

I love you all. Let’s all be friends – if you see me, say hi, let’s hug, I’ll play you some new songs if you want off my laptop – it’ll be nice

Because I value my life RT @MauroJ1 how about you sing a capella at one of your performances? (no Autotune, no instrumental)

Ok I really must get to bed now…just lost about 100 fair weather followers but it was worth it…those that remain…I love you!!! xxx

Calvin Harris wasn’t happy to be victim of a prank by Suggs of Madness at Camp Bestival over the weekend. Calvin had made a stop in portable restroom only to have Suggs jam the door from the outside. “Suggs saw Calvin pop into one of the backstage portaloos,” a witness told The Sun. “He thought it would be a giggle to tamper with the lock so Calvin couldn’t get out.” Harris was stuck in the porta potty for 10 minutes before being freed, and had to be calmed down by festival organizer Rob Da Bank.

Calvin told his Twitter followers (@calvinharris) afterward:

Haha heard greg james saying I got tipped over in a portaloo by Madness! They WERE c*nts, but this is not true!

All in good fun though so fair play to them!

Calvin Harris went into a bizarre meltdown on his Twitter (@calvinharris) on Friday (August 14) after reading a review for his second album ‘Ready for the Weekend’, which is released this weekend. The Scottish electronic musician writes:

THIS ENTIRE INDUSTRY IS FULL OF RICH PEOPLES KIDS, EVERYWHERE, FU**ING RICH PEOPLES KIDS RICH PEOPLES KIDS

RICH PEOPLES KIDS GETTING GOOD REVIEWS BECAUSE MUMMY FU**ED THE JOURNO IN THE 80S

FU** YOU RICH PEOPLE YOU WILL NOT BREAK ME I DON’T GIVE A FU** I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE YOU ARE ONLY RICH PEOPLE

RICH PEOPLE MEAN FU** ALL TO ME SERIOUSLY. I’M MAKING MUSIC FOR REAL PEOPLE AND REAL PEOPLE DANCE – RICH PEOPLE STAND AT THE BACK

FU** THE RICH PEOPLES KIDS WITH THEIR JOBS AS RUNNERS ON TV SHOWS OR THEIR ‘CLUB NIGHTS’ FU** YOU YOU’VE DONE NOTHING ABSOLUTELY FU** ALL

Imagine you just spent 2 years of your life making a record. on your own. every single day, long hours, working to get it sounding right

Imagine the buzz of making something that you love, and after 2 years you finally have something you can’t wait for other people to hear

Then imagine that CD landing on the desk of “snide rich persons kid” or “pathetic London scene-FACE”

Then them skipping through the tracks in their lunch break, and saying “well its Calvin Harris isn’t it? 2 stars, he’s a dick head”

I’m telling you now that it doesn’t feel good

But, how is it that I’ve been playing these songs to 20,000 people at festivals this summer, and it’s gone off every single time

BECAUSE OF THE FU**ING RICH PEOPLES KIDS there are people who will like the album who won’t get the album because they saw a sh** review

And I can’t ignore it, sorry, but it does affect me, + it is hurtful, + I know that it’s exactly what I wanted it to be, and I’m proud of it