The Cool Chicks Of Rock And Pop

Contributed anonymously:

Some ladies just have it all, a gorgeous mug, a lean but voluptuous body, interesting talents and most of it , that “It” factor that makes them leaders! It is easy to spot them, since the rest of the fishes would be swimming west, but she would wagging her sweet little tail to the east.

5) Jewel – This ice-hot minx from Alaska proved that talented women need not be dull and boring. While her contemporary, Morissette embodied the angst-ridden, babbling Medussa, Jewel is the wise, playful and sweet Athena.

Who would thought her zippers would come flying off like it did in her “Intuition” video, but when it did, the world of men was spellbound.

4)Shakira – When a man said this to Shakira, “Yo se que no he sido un santo pero puedo arreglarlo” — I know i have not been a saint but i can fix it. Shakira shot back, “No de pan hombre solo vive, no de excusos vivo yo” -Men do not live on bread alone and I don’t on excuses. Ay mamacita, que picante eres!!!!

A light year away from talentless tarts like J Ho or Thalia, Shakira is a Spanish poet, an Arabic belly dancer, a good Catholic school girl and a girl next door all rolled in one.

3) Gwen Stefani – No one foresaw how big her first solo album could be, until the release of her third single, “Hollaback Girl” which is truly the essence of Gwen in her spunkiest. No one, and may I repeat, no one could ever pull off a song like this as amazing Gwen Stefani. Just as every other little pop girlies like Lindsay Lohan faking their rock prowess, Gwen showed them how it is done properly.

From her earlier work with her band, “No Doubt” Gwen has always been her own woman, making music that’s uniquely humorous, “Hey Baby”, adventurous, “Let Me Blow Ya Mind” with Eve and confessional, “Simple Kind Of Life”, Gwen is one cool chick.

2) Britney Spears – In an age, where girls are proud to rid their virginity at tender ages of 15, Britney flaunted her. In an age where girls are supposed to be cool, acting like boys, Britney is soft and vulnerable. When other jealous rivals like Christina Aguilera and started fights, Britney employed her southerner charms and came out unscathed.

With “Toxic”, she was frantic, with “Someday, I’ll Understand”, she was soft, with “Everytime” she was vulnerable and with “I am a Slave For You” she was flirty. While her rivals like Christina, which came off like a bitter ugly sibling who tried too hard, Britney remained unpredictable and most of all, cool.

1) Madonna – Madonna summed up rock n roll in the brassiest and crudest way possible. Though only moderately talented, but intensely intelligent and ambitious, she continued to forge forward with her legacy.

Everyone has a favorite Madonna song, from the club-ish, “Ray Of Light” or the hilarious, “Like A Virgin” to the pretentious, “American Life”, Madonna has completed the cycle.

Now the five that aren’t quite that cool !!!

5) J Lo – She’s a tabloid heaven, an opportunist and above all, a mediocre business woman. Her movies suck, with enough mushiness to make even our grandmas laugh while her music is pathetic at best, J Lo is definitely not cool.

4)Christina Aguilera – Christina is a side show clown. With her constant images changes from a street side hooker to a drag queen, nothing came out right. Not only did she lash out on every other female rivals and singing trite and hypocritical songs like “Beautiful” Christina will never be taken seriously.

3)Kelly Clarkson – Kelly, Kelly, Kelly ! Our sweet little Kelly! When will you start singing songs that won’t be made into theme songs for the Hallmark channel? She emulated Pink, but without the wit, nor personality nor charm. Better make those bling bling bling before you fade into the horrible world of oblivion.

2)Lisa Presley – Capitalizing shamelessly with her infamous marriage with America’s biggest freak, and of course her famous last name, the only Presley that did something cool was Daddy O. Little girls like her should stick to spending daddy’s royalty and attending therapy sessions.

1) Mariah Carey – Introducing her latest single in Live 8, wishing herself to be as skinny as starving Africans, the stairs allergic Carey is right about as annoying as can be. While she rejected the older men in her recent videos, scarey Carey did not notice that she looked awfully old and fat next to the underage boy that was supposed to be her peer!!! Prediction for her next album title, “I am Marrying My Pink Teddy Bear.”

Related News

9 thoughts on “The Cool Chicks Of Rock And Pop

  1. mandysdandy says:

    It’s pretty obvious that you are a Britney fan. That poptart shouldn’t be mentioned with the other “cool” chicks. I totally disagree about Christina. I think she has the talent to go far and you’ll see that on her upcoming album. You’re right on about J.Lo so I won’t touch that one. I completely and utterly agree on everything you said about Mariah. That trainwreck is the most overrated and annoying of all combined!

  2. twistedpsykko says:

    whoever wrote this, I’m just gonna say this: as much as I really really disagree with you, I’m not gonna say anything cuz when all the Christina and mariah and Jlo fans get here, you’re gonna get killed. RUN!

  3. EveryoneSucks says:

    this has RPL written all over it. if your gonna write a crappy essay, at least put the correct people in the right lists. dumb@ss.

  4. Starlet01 says:

    RPL you need some serious help! Just because you don’t like other female artist(s), it doesn’t give you the right to write up this useless essay about female artist(s) you hate. Of course all of us have our favorites. As well as our not so favorites but, what’s with the essay? If you’re a Britney Spears fan then just say so. No need to write a long essay about why you’re her obsessed fan.

  5. JLOVER101 says:

    You like Jewel, no more need be said. Just kidding, you’re not getting let off that easily. First off, everyone is entitled to their own personal opinion, but when you put Britney on a pedastal and put Jennifer Lopez in the gutter you look like a damn fool. If anything, they’ve both achieved fame in the same exact way. They’re both equally important in the world of the tabloids, they’re both vocally challenged, but make fun songs that people can just groove to or dance to or whatever. Not to mention the fact that as a business woman, she’s proven to be much more effective than Britney will ever be. Britney is not at the front of anything in regards to her career, she’s said so herself, where as Jennifer is at the helm of just about everything she does.

    As for the other ones, here goes: Jewel: Biggest sell-out EVER. Liked the bitch back when she still looked like she had just crawled out of the trunk of her car, happened to stumble upon a stage, and was just doing her thing. Shakira: Love the girl, really really love the girl. Your lyrics are very poorly written, you could’ve just googled them and cut&pasted them because that’s not even close. Very humble, very talented, extremely intelligent, but not everyone’s cup of tea. As far as her voice is concerned, it’s not the best, though it has improved over the years. Her knack for songwriting, the good execution of her albums, and her beauty more than make up for it though. There was no need to bring Jennifer or Thalia into it though, since they’re in completely different leagues. Gwen Stefani: She might have had a #1 with “Hollaback Girl”, but she lost all her credibility with her cheesier than cheese solo album. No one was looking forward to that album more than me, to be let down so harshly. Madonna: Smart business woman, also vocally challenged. She did prove what a few singing lessons could do when she did Evita though.

  6. EdwardAlex says:

    Alright come on now everyone… lets not give this person the satisfaction of getting under our skin and starting arguments. This is obviously a persons own beliefs and we should just accept it and move on. Though I do think whoever wrote this is a coward for not posting this with their name… that’s pathetic.

  7. galleta says:

    Take Britney and Lisa Marie off the list and change your views about Mariah, Chris, and Jlo who by the way are 3 of best singers on that list do that and you might just have something relevant to say. Ok Jlo isn’t the best singer but shes a good entertainer

  8. jazzprofounder says:

    After I read the title of this thing I didn’t even bother to read it. I know this is one’s opinion, but I don’t think this was necessary. It’s just pointless and has been done a billion times already.

  9. JLOVER101 says:

    and now the ones you said weren’t cool: Christina, Mariah and Kelly: Vocal talent intimidate you much? Christina: Unapologetic as she is, that has to stand for something. In an age where other girls were lying (Britney) or prophesying (Jessica) about being virgins, she simply said I enjoy sex, and there is nothing wrong with that. Kelly: to go from winning the first season of the cheesiest talent show ever, to become a relevant force in the music industry by spinning out hit after hit, she simply has what it takes to stick around. Obviously, that scares the sh** out of the person that wrote this “essay”. Lisa Marie Presley: as has been done time and time again, being born into the right family gives you license to do whatever the fu** you want. That’s exactly what she’s doing and I don’t remember her asking your permission. Mariah: Be it as it may, the girl had a great career up until about 5 years ago. Her voice was a force to be reckoned with, and no other female artist has ever been able to cross as many demographics as she has, and there’s a lot to be said for that.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.