The Useless Celebrity Index

Self-appointed Professor of Pointless Celebrity David Thomas (P.P.C.) has devised a mathematical formula covering everything from annual income to delinquency factor to determine the biggest celebrity waste of space in 2007. The lower the score, the more pointless the celebrity. Check out the formula, which is {(C2+b)G) + (pxd)/ tx pq, at work for Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears at New York Daily News and Daily Mail.