What Will DUI Do To Paris Hilton’s Career?

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Friday night, “President Bush announced today we are now safer than we were five years ago. Well, sure, now that Paris Hilton’s off the road. … Yeah. Arrested for a DUI, which stands for, of course, Diva Under the Influence. … You know, I think her pets had something to do with it. Yeah, like, when she got out of the car, she started screaming at the cops and blaming everything on the pikachu. The pikachus are responsible. … I just hope this one drunk driving arrest doesn’t hurt whatever it is she does for a a career. I don’t know what it is. I’m not sure what it is. … Actually, one awkward moment when she blew into the breathalyzer and said to the police officer, ‘Is this going to be on the internet like the other one?’ … Of course, the arresting officer getting a lot of praise today. Not for the arrest, just for telling Paris Hilton she has the right to remain silent. … Actually, she’s in a bit of trouble. When they booked her and asked for her occupation, she said ‘actress’, and now, of course, they got her for perjury. … And you know the worst part about all this? When they stopped her, she had Britney Spears’ baby on her lap. … But you know something, this whole thing, it was a good chance for her and Nicole Richie to reconcile. Did you hear what happened? I guess while Paris was sitting in her cell, Nicole Richie went down to the jail, slipped between the bars, and sat and talked to her.”