Who Cares About Britney Vs. Christina?

Contributed anonymously:

Summer is finally upon us. This means no more classes, vacations to tropical paradises, and lounging by the pool. Unfortunately, it also apparently means that all the teenies on this site have enough free time to submit novella after nauseating novella about why is better than and vice versa. PLEASE PEOPLE : SHUT UP!

I know this may be shocking to some of you, but there’s no scientific or analytical way to prove which under dressed, over paid harlot is the true Supreme Pop Overlord of the music industry. Einstein may have come up with the Theory of Relativity, but apparently he didn’t get around to coming up with a formula for calculating the worth (or worthlessness, for that matter) of the prissy pop tarts so many of you have come to know and love. Shame on him. So here’s the deal:

Britney Spears: More albums sold, more fans, but also way more manufactured and media-friendly. Her voice is easily her weakest asset and her breasts are easily her strongest. Britney’s lyrics are about as deep as a puddle and her CDs aren’t anything more than over-hyped dance mixes. Although her smoking and lying is a kick in the face to her fans, Britney definitely has the better attitude of the two and seems to at least make an attempt to be friendly and likeable.

Christina Aguilera: A voice that could move mountains, but makeup that would make Tammy Faye shiver. Her album wasn’t as well received as Britney’s, but you must also take into consideration the content. Christina’s lyrics range from touching and meaningful (“Voice Within” and “Fighter”) to blatantly obscene and attention craving (“Dirrty”). The combination of her porn star image and her sometimes NC-17 lyrics make it almost impossible for her to keep up with Britney’s “Red Bull made me do it, tee hee” image. Aguilera definitely suffers in the PR department, however, as she has become notorious for being a bratty, pretentious snob and a self-proclaimed “artist”.

These are a majority of the points, both positive and negative, that seem to come up in the essays people post on here, all in one convenient list. I’m inviting you to come into this thread and argue your little hearts out about who you think is better, but please, PLEASE, stop submitting essays about it. You can brag about Britney until your blue in the face, but you can bet that someone else will write even more about Christina the second they read it, and the vicious cycle will continue.

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