You Just Might Be Britney Spears’ Baby If

Conan O’Brien joked during his Late Night monologue on Thursday night, “Congratulations to and Kevin Federline. They had a baby boy yesterday. Yeah. Spears said he sleeps 18 hours a day and so does the baby.” Later, O’Brien had an exclusive interview with “Sean Preston” in a parody of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck if.” Read on for a transcript.

Conan: There was happy news yesterday for Britney Spears and her husband Kevin Federline. They became proud parents of a baby boy named Preston Michael [note: actually, the boy is named “Sean Preston”], which is good news. Now I know this may sound unbelievable, but Preston Michael has granted me an exclusive first interview.

[ Light laughter ] It’s not often you get somebody — this is a huge score for us. Everybody wanted to talk to this kid. We got him. Let’s get him out here right now and talk to him.

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ In thick, southern accent ]

Sean Preston: Hey, ya’ll. I’m Britney’s baby.

[ Laughter ]

Conan: Congratulations, Preston Michael. You had a big day yesterday.

Sean Preston: Oh, I sure did. You have no idea what it’s like to be me.

[ Laughter ]

Conan: Yeah, no. I don’t. I don’t know. Tell us.

Sean Preston: Well, let me put it this way, Conan. If when you’re born the placenta has a mullet, you just might be Britney’s baby.

Conan: That’s great. That’s great.

Sean Preston: If your stroller is already out in the yard on cinderblocks, you might be Britney’s baby.

[ Laughter ]

Conan: That’s very nice. These are good jokes. Thank you.

Sean Preston: If someone asked your mom, “Hey, you want to buy a Lay-Z-Boy?” And she says, “I already got one, my husband.”

[ Laughter ] You might be britney’s baby.

Conan: That’s great. A few more. That’d be good. Yeah.

Sean Preston: If your dad works almost every day. And by that I mean almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday. You might be Britney’s baby.

Conan: Yeah. I got it. Those are terrific. Yeah.

Sean Preston: If when you were born the doctor slapped your dad and said “get a job,” you might be Britney’s baby.

[ Laughter ]

Conan: That’s very nice. Thank you very much. That’s great. Thank you very much, Britney’s baby.

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