Alanis Morissette Surprises In Kimmel’s ‘The Pizza’

Wednesday night’s ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ featured episode six of Kimmel’s spoof of R. Kelly’s ‘Trapped In The Closet’ R&B Opera entitled ‘The Pizza’. The spoof, starring Kimmel and girlfriend Sarah Silverman, featured a guest appearance by Mike Tyson and Alanis Morissette. Read on for the episode’s lyrics.

Here we are me and her

And the former heavyweight champion

Of the world I look around A

And swallow spit and say to myself, ‘Damn, that was tasty spit’

Mike points his hand and and reaches for the trigger

I’m like what are you going to do shoot me

You don’t have fingers [he has boxing gloves on]

Then, Sarah screams

There’s only one fair way to settle this a fight to the death

I’m like, ‘Are you [ Bleep ] crazy?

He’s going to kick my ass’ and Mike Tyson smiles and says

‘I’ll put one glove behind my back’

He starts chasing me across the floor over the bed and around the room

He is shouting, ‘Jimmy Kimmel prepare to meet your doom’

Mike has ahold of my foot I’m trembling with fear

I scream back at him, ‘Don’t eat my ear

Or my leg I’m not made of chicken’

Mike says, ‘This isn’t worth it

I’m going to feed my pigeons’ I get up off the floor

And say, ‘Thank God that’s through’ and Sarah says, ‘Not quite

there’s one more thing’

I said, ‘Woman you best not be messing with my head’

She says, ‘If you don’t believe me just check under the bed’

And I walked to the bed

And I steps towards the bed

Now, I’m right at the bed

I look under the bed

Hold on to your sombreros

Here’s the craziest thing yet

Under my bed is singer/songwriter

Alanis says, ‘I’m sorry, Jimmy

But I’m taking your woman’

I’m, like ‘I can’t believe this you’re leaving me for a Canadian’

This situation it’s so ironic

It’s like rain on your wedding day

Or Jessica breaking up with Nick

It’s like a pepperoni slice but someone picked off the pepperoni

It’s like a guy with a week to live winning a year of Rice-a-Roni

Alanis says, ‘I think we understand

now, snuggle buns let’s blow this taco stand’

Sarah says, ‘Hold on there’s one more twist to this story

Not only is am I sleeping with Alanis but she’s my baby’s daddy’

It’s biologically impossible

But her baby’s daddy is Alanis

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