Cult Critic Unamused By Madonna T-Shirt

Cult critic Rick Ross, who has “deprogrammed” people brainwashed by mind-control groups wasn’t amused to hear about wearing a ‘Cult Member’ T-shirt after her latest weekend visit to the Kabbalah Center in Los Angeles. “She thinks that’s funny,” Ross asked Jeannette Walls of “She’s out of touch with reality and uncaring about the suffering of cult members.”

Plays Perfectionist Ahead Of Tour

May 19, 2004 – Star magazine reports that ahead of Madonna’s re-Invention tour opener on May 24th, the singer is cracking the whip. “She’s being difficult in rehearsals,” a source revealed. “She’s a perfectionist and she’s bitching. Mostly she’s never satisfied with the way the dancers are dancing.” Despite the difficulties, the source believes the tour “will be incredible.”

Madonna’s Tour Success Greatly Exaggerated

May 18, 2004 – Contributed by Homertime: Recently all I’ve been hearing from fans is how fast her tour is selling out. Supposedly, every major venue is sold out, and did so in record time.

Why then am I still able to search Ticketmaster and come up with 6 tickets (the max allowed for online purchases) at practically every venue? Madison Square Garden is NOT sold out and neither is the MGM Grand, but Madonna fans still insist that the Madison Square Garden, which houses 19,000 people, is sold out. Clearly, that’s not the case.

Could it be that Madonna fans just can’t take it that Madonna simply does not have the draw she used to? It was too hard to believe that Madonna could be selling out any venue when she has no hit single and no hit album.

Go ahead, search for yourselves. Ticketmaster still has plenty of tickets available if you wanna see your symbolic grandma take it off onstage. And yes, I had nothing better to do than to prove them wrong.

Tina Fey’s Advice For Madonna

May 16, 2004 – Tina Fey reported during last night’s ‘Saturday Night Live’ Weekend Update: “Madonna has gone to court in an attempt to stop hikers from walking across her property in England. She should try playing Madonna music, that would keep people away.”

Madonna Exhausted Before Tour Even Begins

May 15, 2004 – World Entertainment News Network reports Madonna fans are concerned with the singer’s gaunt and tired appearance in recent weeks. “I’ve never seen her looking so tired. She looks like she’s pushing herself very hard and could do with a good meal,” an onlooker who saw her leaving a Kabbalah center in Los Angeles remarked. A member of Madonna’s tour team disputed the star’s health is suffering and her aberrance is simply due to working hard.

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