Hilarious Divas And Their Even More Hilarious Fans

Contributed Anonymously:

It is in our blood to worship a mortal and raise her to the status of a goddess, but obsession and blind love aside, have you ever wonder how vacant and truly crappy these “divas” are?

1) is a recent favorite thanks to yet another album filled with her trademark over the top love ballads, sh***y hip hop tracks with 50 guest rappers and of course, that over-weight hootchie mamma persona. Mariah Carey has done nothing remarkable musically and lyrically but instead she reworks the same formulas over and over again. Even her so-called inspirational songs are all THE SAME — hero, can’t take that away, and make it happen, through the rain! Fans, please listen to her so-called “greatest hits” album and you will find that this woman should be [removed by MusicMan] for the trite crap that she put out.

2) Madonna is slightly better. At least she had two great albums and that’s something that Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston and could only dream of achieving. “Like a Prayer” is confessional and spiritual. “Ray of light” brought electronics and techno music into the mainstream like no one has ever done before! Call her whatever mean names you want to but its pure guts and good musical instinct when you put out an album as anti-mainstream pop music as “Ray Of Light” and walk away with a ten million best-seller.

3) is hopeless! And exactly why is she hopeless? Because she’s too obsessed with everyone else. She’s always Britneying to out-Britney Britney Spears, or out-Mariah Carey, Madonna and Janet Jackson. Just listen to that pathetic album Stripped and you will hear Christina Aguilera impersonating everyone else. Simply having a good voice is not good enough which is why opera singers seldom cross over successfully. John Lennon or Jim Morrison were all mediocre vocalists but their stamp on popular music is unmistakable. Christina is a loser.

4) Kelly Clarkson and Avril Lavigne are in the same boat. Both are too pop to be rock and just to boring to be pop. This current craze with female pop-rock songs will go soon with duff, Simpson and Lohan already harvesting the same formulas, and at the end of the day, Kelly Clarkson and Avril Lavigne will both end up as TV personalities like Paula Abdul.

Fans of these so-called artists are not fans of music, but fragments of colorful pop culture. None of these women are truly extraordinary, but they are all very very very entertaining with their stripping, pseudo-feminism, blood drawing catfights and of course, catchy pop tunes.

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