How Lame Can Britney Spears Get?

Contributed anonymously:

You fans are PUNK’D! Sooo punk’d! It’s funny how some of you think that:

1) Britney is a “unique” singer just because she has a soft voice and can moan and gasp in a background of R&B-ish music. That DOES NOT make her a good singer. A good singer would be someone who’s not afraid to sing live and can at least hold a note or two, not someone who just lip-syncs 99% of the time. And don’t give me that crap, “well if she couldn’t sing then how did she get a record deal?” Ask that question to William Hung. If he can get a record deal than anybody on this planet can get one if they have enough money, enough connections, and a little bit of exposure to get recognized. With today’s technology in the studio, somebody with the most crappy voice in the world can have their voice enhanced and sounding almost flawless and good so it can sell records, etc.

2) Think that she won’t ever let her fans down. Oh so I guess lip-synching, not giving a full energized performance, singing 2 songs and then leaving off stage, barely giving autographs to people that wait hours to see her, and not even thanking the fans for their support is her way of showing that she won’t let you down. How sad that you try to make an illusion of how you think Britney is (sweet, virginal, innocent, miss queen of nice and respect) instead of just looking at the truth sometimes about your idol.

3) Think she’s such a great dancer, even THE best. Oh please….Britney’s dancing is no big deal. You should give Britney’s choreographers the credit, that’s how she learns those “amazing” moves that you call dancing. When she was performing with Michael Jackson, that girl not only had such a crappy voice that you can barely hear, but she couldn’t dance even if Michael himself had to knock her on the head and hypnotize her to do it. Any average Joe can dance just like her if they had the same choreographer teach them the same moves. It’s nothing hard or anything that takes a dancing genius to do. It’s almost like doing aerobics, the only difference is that she does it much quicker, but nowadays she does it in such an effortless, boring way. I think she concentrates more on how pretty her clothes are and how sexy it will be to take them off instead of concentrating on actually doing something new with it. And don’t give me that crap, “oh it’s hard to dance and sing at the same time”. Well, I don’t hear you saying that about Broadway performers or about regular people in the streets that can do it without whining about how hard it is. It can be done if it’s pursued the right way, with hard work, discipline, and a little bit of effort. Don’t say it’s hard if you’ve never tried to do it yourself.

4) Think that she’s the best performer. What makes her performances great people is the costumes, the lights, and all that other sparkly stuff that comes along with her lip-synching and her hair swinging and hip shaking while going “oww!” and “oh!” and “ah”, and making those corny faces that aren’t sexy. Without all of that it wouldn’t be much of a show. And I bet if she was on MTV Unplugged it wouldn’t be all that great either. Dancing is great but the singing counts too.

And last but not least

5) Think that she’s the most desirable and beautiful person in the world. First of all, not everybody is going to agree with that, everybody has their opinions of what they think is beautiful, hot, sexy, or attractive in a person. Saying that someone is an oddball or is jealous or ugly themselves is so childish and immature. I’m not ugly, an oddball, or jealous, I just think there are so many other attractive people in Hollywood and in real life that I think are very sexy and attractive for other things besides their looks, their body, and their hair.

So my question now is, how lame can Britney get! And how lame can you fans get till you realize, in the words of my man Ashton Kutcher, that you have been PUNK’D!

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2 thoughts on “How Lame Can Britney Spears Get?

  1. Muffy says:

    That was great!

  2. Maya says:

    If you don’t like her, fine. I respect that. However, I am just so curious as to why you are so angry about her. Don’t waste your time on someone that you feel is so much of a joke; move on. You seem to be a sad sad person. Pathetic.

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