Michael Jackson Differs From The Lakers

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Thursday night, “You know what’s the difference between the Lakers and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson actually gets excited about heading to the showers. … Not looking good for Michael. His accountants announced today he is finished doing his taxes. He’s declared three children as defendants, and 47 accusers.”

Jacko’s Fingerprints Prominent On Penthouse Magazine

April 8, 2005 – Jimmy Kimmel joked during his ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ monologue on Thursday night, “A lot going on in the Michael Jackson trial. Yesterday, they had a fingerprint expert to analyze prints they found on a Penthouse Magazine the police seized from the Neverland Ranch. Apparently, the prints are from Michael, Michael’s accuser, the accuser’s brother, and a giraffe, which was weird. … They say Michael’s prints were very prominent because his fingers were covered with a film of Tootsie Pops and Lunchables.”

Jackson Needed A Break From Trial

April 8, 2005 – Jimmy Kimmel joked during his ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ monologue on Wednesday night, “Michael Jackson – singer, I don’t know if you’ve heard of him… (laughter). He got a break from his trial today, and he needed it because, I mean, the Ferris Wheel hadn’t been oiled, the giraffes hadn’t been milked… I mean, the Neverland Ranch is a mess. … Michael Jackson actually went to a funeral today. It’s kind of weird, because on one hand, you have the Pope lying in state, and on the other you have Johnnie Cochran. I think that’s what they mean by the yin and the yang. (laughter) Thousands of people showed up for his funeral today to pay their respects. In particular, I think Johnnie’s family will miss him, as well as his colleagues, his former clients, and really, anyone else whoever killed his wife.”

No Testimony In The Jackson Trial Wednesday

April 8, 2005 – Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Wednesday night, “There was no testimony in the Michael Jackson trial today. Apparently, all the witnesses had a big spelling test. (laughter) More bad new for Michael Jackson. It now looks as though is inner child will testify against him.”

Michael Jackson Jury Rumors Dismissed

April 7, 2005 – Reuters reports that reports suggesting jurors in Michael’s sex abuse trial were making fun of a prosecution witness in the case have been dismissed as an “unsubstantiated rumor” by a court spokesman. “It’s an unsubstantiated rumor, and there is no investigation,” court spokesman Darrel Parker said. “Judge Melville is aware of the report, and there is no investigation.”

Juror: ‘Oh Boo-Hooo, Michael Jackson Tickled Me’

April 6, 2005 – According to The Drudge Report, a juror in Michael’s child molestation trial was overheard reacting to testimony by a 24-year old witness who claimed he was molested by Michael Jackson when he was 7 and 9-years old by two reporters [one fron UK’s Sky TV] saying, “Oh boo-hooo, Michael Jackson tickled me.” That statement was followed by laughter from other jurors. The comment was also heard by a bailiff. Court officials are investigating.

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