Nick Lachey And Jessica Simpson Visit ‘The Tonight Show’

and were on ‘The Tonight Show with Jay Leno’ on Friday night to promote the new and last season of ‘Newlyweds’. They talked about the MTV reality show’s final season, the constant tabloid rumors, Jessica’s big screen debut on ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’, Nick’s new reality show that will document work on his upcoming solo album, and more. Read on for a rough transcript.

Jay: Welcome and Nick Lachey!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Jay: Welcome back.

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> Thank you. We’re excited to be here.

>> You got a little egg on the floor there, jay.

Jay: A little egg on the floor, I’m sorry. You’re probably used to that by now.

>> We are used to a mess around the house. It’s all good.

Jay: We’ll get into that. I want to find out — this is the big finale? Last season, that’s it?

>> Last season, last show. Donezo.

Jay: No more cameras in the house?

>> No.

>> Donezo?

[ Laughter ]

Jay: Wow, you’ve been traveling to Italy.

>> I’ve never heard you say “donezo” before.

>> No, I think that’s “Napoleon Dynamite.” All right?

Jay: Is that where that’s from?

>> I don’t know.

Jay: He was here. Have you met him, by the way?

>> I have not met him, but my sister is friends with him and loves him.

Jay: Very nice guy. Jon Heder, I think his name is.

>> I don’t know, but he can dance.

Jay: He can dance. He can dance. Now, I want to find out. The cameras are out of the house. Do you miss it in a bizarre way? Do you feel lonely, empty?

>> No.

>> Not really at all. Yeah. We still have the lights there to remind us.

>> They’re taking the tint off of our windows now. Not car windows.

Jay: No, I gotcha. I gotcha.

[ Light laughter ] So why are you ending it? Why not continue on until you’re grandparents, and just have your whole life for the next 50 years?

>> Well, it’s called “Newlyweds.” It can only go on so long.

>> And we’re kind of old at this now.

Jay: Yeah, but if the spark is still there, you’re always newlyweds, right?

>> Always.

[ Laughter and applause ]

Jay: I mean, was it fun having the cameras there? For most people, it seems like, “oh, my god, this would be horrible.”

>> No, it was. It was easier for me, I think, going into it, because I’m just oblivious to everything. And it was hard — oh, my gosh, I have gum. That’s really rude. But I didn’t want my breath to stink.

Jay: Oh, here you go. []

>> Thank you.

>> She never gives me that kind of consideration, jay.

[ Laughter ]

>> Thank you. Sorry.

Jay: Wow. I’m going to sell this on ebay!

[ Laughter ] You can chew gum if you want to.

>> No, I’m sorry. I think I was talking and I forgot.

Jay: Now, the paparazzi loves you guys. I want to ask you about it. I pulled some recent covers.

>> Oh, boy.

Jay: Now, you tell me true, false. Now, nick says, “look, it’s baby time.”

>> Look at that tabloid.

Jay: True? Having a baby soon?

>> No.

>> Not that we know of, at least.

>> Not that we know of. People know about things before we ever know about them.

Jay: If I was a a psychologist, I would say, “you jumped in ‘no’ right away, and you kind of — like it says, ‘nick, baby time.’ You hesitated, yet you jumped right in with the ‘no.'”

>> Right, I’m 24, he’s 31, so maybe that was a little bit of the hesitation.

>> I’m probably a little closer to wanting kids, but at the same time, when you’re a a couple, there is a right time and a not so right time. We just now got rid of MTV. We’re just gonna enjoy ourselves without cameras.

Jay: So this would be wrong?

>> That would be absolutely false.

Jay: So what you’re saying is the date is wrong.

>> Normally, if it says “in touch” on the cover? Wrong.

[ Laughter ] Wrong.

Jay: All right, let me move on to number two.

[ Jay giggles ] “He’s locked out of the house. They’re fighting and crying.”

>> Normally, if it stays “star” on the cover? Wrong!

Jay: Really? Wow, okay. So none of this is true.

>> No, I’ve never locked nick out before.

Jay: Really?

>> Yeah, he would find some magic way to come through a a window or something.

>> She’s locked herself out, but never me.

[ Laughter ]

Jay: Like it says in here, that you fight over money. []

>> Well, no.

>> You see, that picture was taken outside of a nightclub in L.A., And it was a little tiff, not between she and I, but a a tiff inside the club.

>> And it was a year ago, and they used it a couple weeks ago.

Jay: Oh, I see. Okay.

>> Just makes the story look better.

Jay: So that would be a a tiff.

>> That’s was girls, they have tiffs. Guys fight.

Jay: Guys don’t really have tiffs. “Hey, man, let’s get a tiff going! You want a tiff?”

>> It doesn’t work well.

>> Yeah. Yeah.

Jay: Okay, because it says that you argue about money. Are you better with money? I remember we talked about this a while ago. You seemed to be a bit more free-willed about spending money.

>> Yes, I am. I don’t look at price tags. Is that what you’re saying?

Jay: Is that good?

>> Yeah, well, I started.

>> She’s great with money. She’s great with spending it.

Jay: Didn’t she get you a a $50,000 watch or something?

>> For my birthday, but even more impressive, she —

>> He doesn’t complain when I spend it on him.

>> No, come on, now. She got me a Ferrari for Christmas.

Jay: She got you a Ferrari?

>> I did.

Jay: You are the greatest woman who ever lived.

[ Laughter ] What a jerk. You know, you’re a jerk to pick on her.

[ Laughter ] What a moron you are. Why don’t you leave the woman alone? Let her buy whatever she wants. Good for you. If a girl bought me — that would be wonderful. Wow. A Ferrari.

>> Yeah, but he bought me a a 12-carat, flawless emerald ring.

>> It was a good year and we celebrated.

>> It was a very good year. We had lots to celebrate. Lots of fighting.

Jay: Lots of fighting. More with Jessica and nick right after this.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Jay: Welcome back.

[ Cheers and applause ] We’re here with Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. So, let me ask you about this. Obviously, like you said, you both spend — do you have separate accounts, or do you just put all your money in one thing?

>> We have a joint account, but we keep separate accounts, too.

Jay: Okay.

>> A bill, you know, household bills and the housekeeper and, you know?

>> That’s together.

Jay: That’s together.

>> And then Barney’s and Neiman Marcus and —

[ Light laughter ] These really cute shoes.

[ Cheers ] We just keep all that separate.

Jay: Do you see those bills, nick?

>> No.

>> Not only do I not see those bills, Jessica never sees those bills. Those bills magically float away.

Jay: Wow! You certainly are easy-going about this.

>> You know what? She makes her own money. She’s done very well and who am I to tell her where to spend her money?

Jay: Wow.

>> If she starts spending my money, then we’ve got, you know —

Jay: Now, let me ask you about some of the issues that were addressed in that tape we saw. The clothes all over the place. Are you still pretty messy?

>> Well, we’ve come to an agreement, a compromise. []

>> As all good married people should.

>> We have a housekeeper twice a week. So, what I throw gets picked up eventually.

[ Laughter ] Quicker than —

Jay: Wow.

>> The fact that our housekeeper is actually still working for us is one of today’s modern miracles. I can’t believe that she still comes to the house.

Jay: So, do you go around and clean up before the housekeeper gets there?

>> I’m one of those people that does the dishes before the housekeeper gets there.

>> I always ask why.

Jay: This is like role reversal, because, usually, it’s the guy that’s the slob. I hate to use stereotypes.

>> I don’t know.

Jay: Would you say you’re just messy or a slob?

[ Laughter ]

>> What did you say? Slob?

>> Slob, hands down, slob.

>> Slob, hands down? Okay. Slob.

[ Laughter ]

Jay: And nick, you still do your own laundry?

>> No. I’ve gone to the dark side.

>> He has. He got spoiled. See, it’s really good over here. Come join.

[ Laughter ]

>> No, the housekeeper — she does a great job with laundry. I figure why am I gonna keep doing it? I’ve given up. I know.

Jay: Now, what advice would you give to — you must hear other — do you hear from other couples in your age group? “Hey, we see you guys.”

>> We have people giving us advice walking down the street.

>> Well, people ask us, like, “you know, give us advice.” Our response is always the same: “We don’t know what we’re doing. How can we tell you what to do?” Marriage is kind of a — you know, you just go for it and there is no real rules. You know, we just —

Jay: Yeah, okay. I saw a little something in the tape where you mentioned about not opening the car door.

[ Laughter ] At what point, how many weeks after the wedding did you stop opening the car door?

>> Well, the car door never got opened before the wedding, if you know what I mean?

[ Cheers ] So, you know. Based on that, it was over a a year. And then the car door —

>> It was not!

Jay: Do you ever open the door?

>> Do I open doors?

Jay: Sure.

>> Of course. For him? No.

[ Laughter ]

Jay: Just speaking metaphorically.

[ Laughter ]

>> No, no, that door is never opened.

Jay: Okay. Now, you’re doing “The Dukes of Hazzard” movie, right? Or, you did it?

>> I did. I shot it.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Jay: Now, here is something I don’t really understand. Like, they said, “Oh, you lost weight for that.” I mean, why? You don’t need to lose weight. You’re perfect. You have a lovely figure.

>> Well, I was in a bikini the entire movie and any girl who is going to be in a bikini on a a big screen in front of millions upon millions of people is going to work out so they look damn good in their bikini.

Jay: How much did you lose? Like, four ounces?

>> No. I don’t even know that I lost weight. I think that I just gained muscle.

Jay: Oh, it’s just a matter of working out.

>> See those muscles.

[ Cheers ] I think that’s what it was.

Jay: So, are you familiar — did you read all “The Dukes of Hazzard” novels?

[ Light laughter ]

>> No. No.

Jay: Was it a fun shoot?

>> It was a blast. I mean, I was with Willie Nelson, Johnny Knoxville, Seann William Scott, Burt Reynolds.

Jay: Now, who’s Burt Reynolds in it? He plays who?

>> Boss Hogg.

Jay: Oh, he’s Boss Hogg. Okay, all right. That sounds all right.

>> He’s very good at it.

Jay: Oh really? Okay. And you sang with willie. You have an album?

>> Well, we just recorded a a song in Austin. Willie lives in Austin and I went to go see his show because we’re like this now. Me and Willie Nelson. Isn’t that cool?

Jay: Well, he is cool, isn’t he? Isn’t he a great guy?

>> Oh, he’s laid back.

Jay: Did you ever go on that bus?

>> I did. I did. I sat next to him and I was just floating.

Jay: Yeah. Did you get a contact high when you went on the bus?

[ Laughter ]

>> That’s pretty much why I was floating. I’m kidding. No, I was high around him, of course. He makes me high.

[ Laughter ] How can you not be high in the presence of Willie? Meaning, he’s just a really great guy.

Jay: Well, all right. Okay.

>> Keep working at it.

Jay: Now, nick, you’re doing another reality show?

>> I love him.

>> Yeah, we’re doing a making of the album. You know? I’m doing another solo album now — working on that, and this show is kind of based around the whole process of signing with a label, which I signed with Jive — and then, you know, writing the album, creating the album, promoting the album.

Jay: Okay, so they’re following you around. Are they in the house again, too?

>> No, actually, this is a a strictly work-related show. It doesn’t involve our life or lifestyle. It’s just more about the process of making a record.

Jay: Oh, okay. When does that show up? When does that air? []

>> Hopefully later this spring. It really depends on when the album comes out, but hopefully later this spring.

Jay: When does “The Dukes of Hazzard” come out?

>> I don’t know yet. It’s either in june or it’s july 4th. Or it’s a date I don’t know.

Jay: Now, have you heard from any duke fans? Because they’re like — people are rabid about that show. There are clubs and people that collect “Dukes of Hazzard” paraphernalia.

>> Yes. You know, we had such an amazing time. It was like leaving summer camp. Of course, I’m probably the only one that cried leaving, but it was the best thing ever.

Jay: Do you think 50 years from now, there’ll be a kmart “Dukes of Hazzard” reunion thing? They’re like trekkies, aren’t they?

>> I can’t wait to see the second one.

Jay: Oh, they’re doing a a second one already?

>> Well, they have high expectations for this one.

Jay: Oh, cool, it should do well. You’d be an excellent daisy duke.

>> We’ll see. Willie and I did “these boots are made for walkin’,” Nancy Sinatra. So that was fun. That’s what I was trying to say earlier, and then I got caught up —

Jay: I understand. Now, I’m told the bunny has a a present for you two.

>> The bunny?

Jay: Did you see the bunny that was just here before?

>> That’s what nick calls me.

Jay: Yeah, well, let’s bring the bunny out. What do we got? Let’s bring our bunny out.

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> Easy now. Easy.

>> I’m sorry about earlier —

[ Laughter ] Earlier, jessica, they were playing “touch the bunny,” and I thought we’d continue it.

[ Laughter ]

>> You know, Nick calls me “bunny.”

>> Easy.

>> Does he really?

Jay: That is the most embarrassing thing I have ever seen. []

[ Laughter ]

>> Anyway, jay, they said that they only wanted to pay me for one performance tonight but, technically, I came out twice.

Jay: You know something?

[ Cheers and applause ] I’m going to pay you three times. All right, be right back with our skier, Bode Miller, right after this.

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