The 10 Most Painful TV Events Of 2003

The Hollywood Reporter announced their 10 Most Painful TV Events of 2003, with Michael Jackson’s documentary with Martin Bashir topping he list, followed by Paris Hilton and ‘The Simple Life’ at #2, Madonna and Britney Spears’ kiss on the MTV Video Music Awards at #5, Jessica Simpson’s goofy remarks on ‘Newlyweds’ at #7, and The Osbournes nearing the end of their “15 minutes” at #10.

Pat Lalama Comments On Michael Jackson’s ’60 Minutes’ Interview

December 30, 2003 – ‘Celebrity Justice’ reporter Pat Lalama was on ‘American Morning’ to talk about the Michael Jackson interview on CBS’ ’60 Minutes’ on Sunday night. Lalama talked about Jackson’s comment, “Before I would hurt a child, I would slit my wrists.” He told CNN’s Soledad O’Brien: “I believe that he believes that whatever it is he does, and it may just be that he shares his bed with a child, I believe that in his heart, he believes that there is nothing wrong with what he does. I mean, only the judicial system in the end will determine based on the facts whether, you know, what he does is legal or illegal. But I think as a matter of the heart, he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong. I do think that when he goes into the explanation of his childhood and how damaged he is, I think he feels that. And I do believe that he lives in that environment, that Peter Pan-like environment.” Check out the entire transcript here.

Nick Carter Shacks Up With Paris Hilton

The New York Post reports Backstreet Boys star Nick Carter started shacking up with hotel heiress Paris Hilton after her hit reality show ‘The Simple Life’ was done filming. Carter seems to have taken the place of Trae Lindley, her Altus, Arkansas, boyfriend from ‘The Simple Life’ to whom she reportedly still owes about $600 after he bailed her and Richie out of trouble.

Paris Hilton Invests In *NSYNC Star’s Restaurant

Star magazine reports hotel heiress Paris Hilton has become a part owner in Justin Timberlake’s eatery Chi in Los Angeles. “I just love it – the design, the food. It’s a good thing,” Hilton said.

Jessica Simpson Meets Her Dunce Cap Match: Paris Hilton

Thanks to Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie on ‘The Simple Life’, premiering tonight on Fox, the airhead cracks about Jessica Simpson may be transferring. Several news accounts suggest Paris is even more ignorant than the Chicken of the Sea’ singer.

Jonathan Storm of KRT writes, “Paris makes TV’s other dumb-bunny diva, Jessica Simpson, seem like Christiane Amanpour.”

Terry Morrow of The Knoxville News Sentinel writes, “She makes Jessica Simpson look like a Mensa candidate.”

Bill Frost of Salt Lake City Weekly writes, “Jessica Simpson is going to have to seriously step up her pinhead game next season on Newlyweds.”

Alisha Davis of CNN Headline News writes, “Let’s just say that Jessica Simpson won’t be the butt of all those dumb blond jokes after this series premieres.”

The entire story at has since been removed.

JC Chasez Wrote A Song For Paris Hilton

November 25, 2003 – Contributed by jcsfan88: Paris Hilton wants to be famous for more than just being famous. Rolling Stone reports that Hilton is recording an album with one of JC Chasez’s producers, Rob Boldt. Boldt describes Paris’s music as “old Prince, old Michael Jackson.” JC has also written a song for her.

Bush Thanks Jacko, Paris & Prince Charles

November 19, 2003 – News satire website reports United States President George W. Bush congratulated Michael Jackson, Paris Hilton and Prince Charles today for becoming involved in major scandals that kept Iraq out of the headlines.

Paris Hilton To Become Pop Star?

MTV News reports hotel heiress Paris Hilton has been working on recording a dance pop album, which her producer Romeo Antonio describes as a cross between Jessica Simpson and Beyonce Knowles of Destiny’s Child, in terms of voice and style. Hilton has six songs completed, including a midtempo ballad with the working title ‘Loneliness.’ Hilton still hasn’t landed a label deal.

Christina Aguilera & Paris Hilton’s HS Cheer Tryout

April 26, 2003 – The Enquirer reports Christina Aguilera and Paris Hilton recently drove by the practice session of Hollywood High School’s football team, where they put on a cheerleader performance. The pair tooted their convertible’s horn, then jumped up on the trunk, dancing in hip-huggers and midriff tops. The boys whistled and cheered until the coach blew his whistle. The girls then drove off, yelling “Have a good workout, boys!”