The 6 Worst Divas In The Music Industry

Contributed anonymously:

Why would Madonna’s fans go on beating on Mariah Carey, or vice versa when both Carey and Madonna are right about as talented as Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton. However, their apparent lack of talents are not necessarily the ingredients that make them so revolting to anyone with a functional brain. Now, fans of these divas better brace yourself in a reality check and perhaps, get an ear transplant.

6) Britney Spears

Mama Spears has been the least annoying among the six of them since she has dedicated much of her time to changing diapers, disciplining her husband and writing for her next album. Britney Spears, the media and her fans form this deadly Bermuda Triangle that make everything that she does, from a burp to the release of a new single, such an over-hype thing that non-fans are just immediately repulsed.

5) Christina Aguilera

Fans of her will inflate her talents, while she herself inflated her formally non-existent boobs. Her critics downplayed her most valuable asset, that is her voice, but then again, a voice wasted on the most boring and trite pop songs. From a suburbia white girl to spicy Latina to a inner city home girl, Christina has managed to use every single shameless reasons to get attention. No one remembered that she kissed Madonna too, or cared for her albums and neither were anyone grabbing out for her wedding pictures, our little Christina will forever crave the A-list star treatment. Guess what, she’s Marilyn now, and she’s openly plundering artists of the 20’s and 30’s for her next album. Good job to pop’s biggest copycat.

4) Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay is hilarious. She’s just funny. She’s the lead in the comic standup show that she wrote for herself. When she appeared with her mascara running all over the place in her new video, you could almost hear millions of people across the world laughing out loud. Lindsay to Hillary is what Christina is to Britney, with the former handling stardom with much more finesse and grace, and the later practically screaming and scratching just to get the leftovers.

3) Mariah Carey
With her honey blonde hair, swinging back and forth seductively, her long toned legs and her youthful face, it’s no wonder her “Don;t Forget About Us” is such a big hit….. Wait a Minute…. But how is it possible that she looked like such an arrogant overweight cow in the little interview that followed??? Mariah Carey’s so-called music can be classified in two simple categories : A) 13 years old , I love you, you hate me, i miss you and B) Half-baked inspiration Martha Stewart styled songs. To put Carey and talent in a same sentence is sacrilegious. And for the fans of his hefty diva, Christina is indeed the superior vocalist.

2) Madonna
Madonna has rebaptised herself as Esther, and while she was once upon the time, the self-sanctioned slut is now a saint in the making. American Life with the pathetic lyrics was embarrassing but not nearly as embarrassing as her 5000 years old ass cheeks that were hanging out in her new video. Madonna is a talentless hypocrite with lyrical genius, like “New York makes me feel like a dork” , one certainly hope that retirement is right around the corner.

1) Eminem
You got it right, this white rapper makes us miss the occasionally fun and tongue in cheek, Vanilla Ice. Eminem deserves to be shot. First, he sold his wife, then his mother and finally his own daughter. Has anyone in music history been more shameless or less integrity? His singles are either rantings about his family members, his obsessive hatred for the female gender, and his unhealthy penchant to cross dress in his videos, one wonder if Mr I name myself after a candy, just wanted some chocolate IN him after all.

There you go, the worst of the worst, and the rest of the world sighs.

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One thought on “The 6 Worst Divas In The Music Industry

  1. Chris says:

    Surely that just means Eminem sucks. It hardly makes him a diva. I was taking in your list til I saw that at the end. Now I just think its your own little rant about nothing. There’s a reason no-one else has commented

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