Contributed anonymously: Have you ever wonder what would happen if unexplainable phenomenon’s in the world are answered by our very own pop stars? What if? What if Mariah Carey gets to name all the planets or what if Christina Aguilera gets to solve E=Mc2? This is how it will sound like:
1) What if Mariah Carey is asked to solve world hunger?
“Eh… like I don’t understand why people would choose not to eat and stuff … just follow my lead and just airbrush your pictures to death if you look like a cow .. like whatever…”
2) What if Lindsay Lohan is asked to explain the value of friendship?
“I believe that female dogs should befriend female dogs and hogs should be chummy with hogs. Therefore, as an intelligent, talented and non-bitchy woman like myself, I have a great friend in Paris Hilton who is an exact duplicate of myself.”
3) What if Christina Aguilera is asked to create something totally original?
“I love (after singing that same note for an hour) to show everyone that I am the most original hoe/ Latina/ Britney Spears copy/ Marilyn Monroe copy/ ghetto hoe copy/ Aretha Franklin rip off/ nasty diva behavior / dirty hooker makeup copy.. Who in this world can be such an original copy as I am? There is no one in history who dares to comment that selling clothes are tacky but have your name on bubble game is classy!! As if.”
4) What if Janet Jackson is asked to provide a definition of privacy?
“Privacy is forgetting to wear your bra, when you know that your blouse will be ripped off on stage on national TV but instead , have a lovely star-like thingy stuck on your nipple.”
5) What if Britney Spears is asked to asked to make up her mind on one thing?
“I am single at the moment not I am not, but I was married twice or am I still married? I need to take a break from showbiz but I am releasing Original Doll. I am a dancer, I am a songwriter , I am a show girl, and lastly I have drunk way too much coffee and red bull.”
6) What if Jennifer Lopez is asked to write on chastity and loyalty?
7) What if Alicia Keys is asked to calm a horde of stampeding buffaloes?
“That’s so easy! I just sing.. You don’t know my name…..zzz – please note that Miss Keys fell asleep to her own song”
8) What if Gwen Stefani is asked of the investment climate of real estate in USA?
“Take a chance you stupid hoe!”
“We love rock music because we are like … he .. he .. he.. cute girls and stuff.. and like we are like .. he… he.. he.. wear lots of mascara and pretend to play guitar… he.. he.. he.. and make like tons of money out of girls who are dumber than we are … he .. he.. he… ”
10) What if Madonna is asked to reveal why she will never go out of style?
“Tell me which celebrity in the world who can shag two hot hoes in front of everyone?”